


Another Lonely Night

by zazajb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glam Rock RPF, Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Success often comes at a price...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I own nothing except my imagination. This is a work of fiction based on real people, places and events. Lyrics from the song 'Another Lonely Night' by Adam Lambert, are woven into the story.

Chapter 1

Sat in lonely solitude in the back of his official WBR car, Adam stared out of the rain spattered window as the world sped by in a blur of yet another town, another state; hard on the heels of dizzying flight hops to multiple other countries…

Up front, his minder, John, laughed loudly before continuing his conversation with Mattie, their allocated driver for the duration of this fast and furious promotional whirlwind. The two men assigned to ferry him around and protect him from any over-excited fans, had bonded instantly over a shared love of British soccer team Manchester United, and talked endlessly about players and tactics…

Considering Adam’s interest in the sport pegged way below zero – aside from the occasional appreciation of a fine pair of legs and tight ass in tiny shorts – he spent most journeys alone with his thoughts.

_And thinking was dangerous…_

Thinking invariably led back to one thing…

…one person…

… _him_ …

Adam’s grip on his phone tightened as the oxygen in the car thinned and image after image of times past filled his head…happier times…

_Tommy’s face as he listened to the new music for the first time; joy, awe and tears taking turns before he’d thrown himself into Adam’s arms to hug him to a pulp…_

_Tommy’s excitement as they made plans to launch the album…_

_Working late into the night as they laid down the live versions of the new songs…some real badass guitar solos and heart-rending acoustics…_

_So much to look forward to…promotional appearances, TV shows, a proper fucking tour – denied to him for Trespassing, this album’s tour was going to hit the fucking stratosphere - and with Tommy as his new musical director…_

Sudden tears stung his eyes and he blinked rapidly, shoving the memories aside forcefully as he wrestled his emotions back into their box and slammed the lid.

_He missed Tommy so fucking much it was like a physical pain gnawing at his insides…_

Now wasn’t the time…

The car slowed to a halt and the gentle purr of the engine ceased. The rain had stopped and the sun was just emerging to add a sparkle and a newly washed vibrancy to the gleaming façade of the building.

“We’re here, Mr Lambe…Adam…” John turned in his seat “There’s quite a large fan gathering so if you give us a few minutes to get a clear path…”

Nodding mutely, Adam brushed a lone escaped tear from his cheek and closed his eyes, re-centring in the here-and-now.

Assessing his appearance in the rear view mirror, he smoothed down his shirt and checked his fly was firmly closed – it wouldn’t be the first time he’d bust a zip and his eagle-eyed Glamberts would notice instantly.

His Glamberts…his ever-supportive, loyal and passionate fans…

The smile returned and he took a final longing look at his phone. Still no new message but at least he had that last selfie they’d taken the night before his birthday as his background and the Amsterdam kiss as his lock screen…

_Sappy maybe but it was all he fucking had left…_

The door opened just as he slid his sunglasses into place. The screams hit him as a solid wall of sound and he had to crack a huge grin at their enthusiasm for him and his new venture. Whatever else was going on, there was no doubting he had the backing of his fans and, this time, the total backing of his new record company.

His smile was genuine as he immediately diverted from the path cleared by John to crouch down by a small girl waving her _Adam_ flag excitedly.

“Hello!”

“Hello!” Her face lit up and the joy was unmistakeable as he took the flag and her pen, holding it poised ready to sign.

“What’s your name?”

“Jenni…with an eye not a why…”

“It’s lovely to meet you Jenni-with-an-eye” He winked at her as he handed the flag back “is that your mom?”

Nodding eagerly, Jenni leant closer to whisper in his ear “My mom loves you…her name’s Kelly.”

“Hi Kelly, beautiful daughter you have. Thank you for turning out to greet me in all this rain…” Warmth resonated as the incredulous expression on Kelly’s pretty features turned to stunned realisation he was indeed talking to her. Giving her a moment to catch her breath, Adam held out his hand, folding his fingers around her own to squeeze firmly “Good to meet you both…” Winking once more, he released her hand and moved on down the line, signing pictures, CDs and shaking as many hands as possible in the few minutes he could get away with before his minders moved back in.

They might not agree about soccer and fashion – Mattie’s ideas on what constituted fashion were definitely a horror story for another time – but they both knew how much he appreciated his fans… _his beautiful and supportive Glamberts_ …and gave him as much time as they could within the tightly planned schedule.

Waving as he headed inside to the latest interview, the doors closed behind their enthusiastic cheers and he slid into professional mode.

The interview and brief tour were fun, enlivened by some well-chosen fan questions from Twitter, alongside the usual Idol, Queen, new music and being an _out_ artist in a notoriously judgemental industry… He posed good humouredly for the expected photos, signed some merchandise for station prize give-aways and swapped gluten free recipes with the show host; the pair of them clowning around as the news reporter tried desperately to stop giggling at their impromptu can-can routine as she delivered the midday news bulletin.

Spirits high, Adam shook hands warmly before he and John headed out to a waiting Mattie and the car.

They were a mere thirty minutes behind schedule as they hit the road for the next radio station. En-route, Adam flicked through his chosen tracks for the hour long _Adam-takeover_ show; a mix of his own tracks and some favourites from other artists; new and old. Fond memories flashed as he heard each tune in his head; the smile freezing on his lips as the distinctive guitar lament of _Red House_ slammed images of a mop of blond hair taking centre stage at Winstar World Casino; those skilled fingers picking the notes as surely as they were playing the strings of Adam’s heart…

_Tommy…_

_“I’m so sorry…”_ The anguished whisper hung in the air for long moments as that New Year’s Eve show rolled in slow motion through his emotion-charged synapses and fresh tears stung his eyes. Extreme force of will drove the memories away to the far flung fringes of his consciousness, biting down hard enough on his bottom lip to taste the coppery tang of blood.

Suitably self-chastised, Adam skimmed the rest of his chosen songs and opened Twitter, immersing himself in the world of social media as defined by a mere one hundred and forty characters. He avoided checking Tommy’s feed, instead answering a few fan questions and retweeting some rather spectacular fan art.

Control was reasserted…

_…for now._

Turning his head back to business, Adam threw himself into his emails and a live messaging session with Leah as they discussed his upcoming trip to Australia. Signing off the final email, he closed his phone and dropped it on to the seat beside him. A swift glance at his watch showed they had around forty minutes before they hit the next venue so he plugged in his earphones and selected his _chill-out_ playlist. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his breathing as the car ate up the miles…

The crowds were once again out in force to greet him as he arrived at the radio station’s headquarters. John shook his head before Adam had even opened his mouth “We’re running late already”

“Five minutes? _Please?_ ” Adam tried his famous lost puppy look, breaking into a huge grin as John rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath; that something setting Mattie off into helpless giggles as he clambered out to open Adam’s door.

Waving with both hands, Adam kept to the middle of the path John had cleared for him, looking around waiting for a chance to speak. With the time ticking away and still no sign of the screams diminishing, John stuck his fingers in his mouth to give an ear-piercing whistle. A stunned silence fell as all heads turned towards the sound before snapping back to Adam as he applauded delightedly.

“Hey guys, thank you so much for coming out to meet me. Unfortunately I’m running really late already for the recording, so we’re going to have to make do with a poor man’s version of Dr Bri’s selfie stick pictures. Huddle together in groups and I’ll grab a phone…” He chuckled “at least you get to make new friends out of this when you swap numbers for your copy”

Five group selfies were snapped in record time and, after blowing the cheering crowd a bunch of kisses, Adam headed inside with a spring in his step, looking forward to the coming show.

After settling them down with a coffee and a run through of the order of play, the producer patted Adam’s arm and retreated to his console on the far side of the studio, leaving him to get reacquainted with the show host, Kate Mac. As the travel news came to an end, Adam slipped his headphones over his ears and nodded his readiness, phone screen with his track listing close at hand.

This was going to be so much fun…

Introducing his first song, the airwaves resonated to the sound of _The Original High_ as Adam and Kate chatted between songs. Iconic Prince _When Doves Cry_ accompanied a telling of the surprise performance he’d been allowed to join the audience for in Vegas…Madonna, Kelly Clarkson and his own track _Evil in the Night_ followed. Relaxed and enjoying his role as DJ, Adam hitched a breath as the next tune cued up…

_Red House…_

Melancholy hit him between the eyes with surprising force and he fought back the urge to make a comment just in case Tommy was listening… _why the fuck would he be listening anyway after what you did to him…_ Bitter self-recriminations lined up to send him spiralling into the depths.

“Adam?” Kate’s anxious voice in his headphones pulled him from his mental purgatory and he cracked a weak grin.

Returning the smile she nodded “you zoned out there for a moment…”

“Memories…” he shrugged.

“Oh! That bad?” she squeezed his arm.

Adam shook his head quickly “no, the opposite… _that good..._ ” He sighed wistfully “such good times…sometimes I just wish…” he broke off, not trusting himself to say any more.

Drawing a breath, he straightened his shoulders and flipped the switch on the mic “next up, a classic Hendrix, Blues at its best…this is _Red House…_

Chatting about Kate’s toddler as the song played on air proved an effective distraction technique and the smiles were out in full force as he introduced his next choice “…the one and only Queen… _Another one bites the dust…”_ conversation moving onto his experience of touring the world with that most iconic of rock bands.

The hour flew by way too fast and it was with genuine regret Adam announced his final track “my new single _Ghost Town…”_ to applause from those in the studio. A few quick thank yous and he was on the road again; this time heading back to Los Angeles for the recording of the Late Late Show.

As it was James Corden’s fiftieth show, the producers had asked him to sing a fun tribute, re-worded version, of _We are the Champions_ as well as _Ghost Town_. He’d agreed without hesitation, despite the momentary pang as yet another cherished Tommy memory, from back on the WAG tour, sprang to the fore…

A tipsy Tommy was a delightfully cuddly Tommy, and Adam relished every second of that extremely cute bundle of blond guitarist being wrapped in his arms. This tipsy Tommy was also possessed with unusual confidence and easily persuaded to join in the latest game of truth or dare; an encounter he always managed to avoid when sober! With an energetic spin of the empty beer bottle, it landed on Ashley. “Truth or dare, Teebie?”

Pondering, Tommy snuggled closer into Adam’s embrace as he bit absently on his bottom lip. “’m gonna go _dare…_ ” the eyelashes fluttered coquettishly “be nice, Ashers!”

Ashley giggled. Drunken Tommy was adorable! “Hmmm, okay then. Stand on a chair and sing _We are the Champions”_

“Sing?” Tommy giggle snorted “you asked for it!” as he wriggled out of Adam’s hold and clambered unsteadily onto a chair. He opened his mouth and closed it again without any recognisable sign of singing emerging. “I don’ know the fucking words!”

“Any words will do…make ‘em up, just stick to the tune…” Ashley laughed “I’ll air guitar for you! Ready?” Without waiting for a reply she counted them in…

“I’ve paid my dues, chosen a dare, can’t sing a sentence, but fuck I don’t care! And bad mistakes, I’ve made a few, I’ve had my share of drinks thrown in my face but I’m drunk on you! We are the champions my friends, and we’ll keep on drinking till the end…we are the champions, we are the cham… _oooh fuck…_ ”

The well off-key lyrics came to an abrupt end as Tommy’s energetic conducting of his backing group – everyone else in Adam’s suite that night – turned a shade too excitable and he overbalanced, tipping off the chair to land back into Adam’s swiftly outstretched arms with a contented belch.

“’k ‘m done!” Crawling back onto Adam’s lap, he curled up with his head tucked under Adam’s chin, tiny drunken snores floating out minutes later as he fell asleep…

Adam chuckled at the memory, warmth filling his belly as he settled back in his seat to review the amended lyrics for the upcoming show.

On arrival at CBS Television City in Fairfax, Adam was met by James Corden himself, the comic host tugging him in for a warm hug before leading him off to the producer’s lounge for a pre-recording briefing.

The show was everything Adam enjoyed about a live talk show – professional, not afraid to poke fun at itself and full of good humoured people doing a fucking awesome job of making sure everything ran smoothly. Nothing was too much trouble and they checked multiple times to make sure Adam had everything he needed – not that he needed much; a mug of throat coat tea, a bottle of water and somewhere to change into his show clothes…

No blue-only M & M demands for _his_ dressing room!

Waiting for his cue behind the screen, Adam hopped excitedly from one foot to the other. He couldn’t wait to see what James made of it; the other man had been told only that Adam was going to sing for him but he didn’t have a clue what.

From his stool, Adam could see the emotion on James’ face – the host was truly moved by the dedication and when James joined him, the hug said it all; bone-crushing and heartfelt. Dueting with Adam for a repeat chorus, they sang their lungs out before James ad-libbed in true-to-form Cordon style to ask Adam to stay and sing his new single at the end of the show. The audience cheered wildly as the director rolled his eyes and cut into a commercial.

After a cracking performance of _Ghost Town_ with the audience up on their feet and singing full volume in the chorus, Adam joined James and his producer for dinner at Maggiano’s Little Italy, where the three of them covered topics ranging from men in lace underwear through to fiscal policy and the waning morality of contemporary society, as they sampled the delicious authentic Italian cuisine of James’ favourite restaurant. It was a lively and thoroughly enjoyable end to a busy but productive day, with the added bonus of being close enough to home so he could spend a rare night in his own bed.

A fond hug and kiss on the cheek as James’ car dropped him off outside his house, just after 1am, saw a contented Adam letting himself in and kicking off his boots as he wandered through to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, his hand hovered over the bottle of wine before settling on a bottle of coconut water instead, mindful of rehearsal, for the upcoming Morongo performance, later that morning.

Not in the least sleepy, he ended up in the living room, flopping onto the sofa as he scooped up the TV remote. Twenty seven aimless channel hops later and his good mood was evaporating rapidly as the vast emptiness of his all-too-quiet house closed in… _alone in the dark, hole in my heart…_

Wobbling dangerously on the edge of self-indulgent tears, Adam shrugged off his jacket and threw himself into his deep breathing and stretching routine. His personal trainer always insisted any negative emotions could be banished with a good workout. Focused on his breathing he jabbed at the remote, skipping through to find a music channel… _turn on the radio…_

 _We found love_ , a Rihanna favourite, followed by Janet Adamson’s _Black Cat_ were doing an effective job of drawing him into a better headspace as he concentrated on creating the correct body postures in perfect time to the beat… Seth would be so proud! A wry smile crept across his face, only to be stripped away with the opening notes of the next song.

His own voice, _Ghost Town,_ lamenting the bitter taste of loss and disillusionment, hung heavy in the air, taunting him with memories…… _and the words fall out, but they got no place to go…_

Tommy’s eyes, alight with joy and incredulous disbelief as Adam gazed at him, a huge grin on his face “I want you to be my musical director for this album – all the promo and the tour…we’re going to conquer the fucking world!”

“Really? You think I can do it?” That characteristic lip biting distracted Adam momentarily, a sudden surge of heat heading southwards to swell impressively in his jeans.

“You’ll slay it; I know you will” Adam reached for Tommy’s hands “please, say yes!”

The “fuck yeah!” against his neck sent a mass charge of goose bumps chasing across Adam’s skin as he found himself with an armful of excitable blond lead-guitar-and-new-musical-director, the force of the sudden launched attack sending Adam’s balance askew as they tumbled off the sofa and onto the floor. Flat on his back with Tommy sat astride his hips, Adam gurgled for air as Tommy plastered his face with tiny, happy kisses “ _yes, yes, yes, yes!”_   

The memory burned, reminding him yet again of all those plans they’d made. A tear trickled down Adam’s cheek as his song played towards its climax. How fucking ironic; his heart _really_ was a ghost town, despite the undoubted interest and promised success of this album; everything he’d ever wanted…

Tears fell thick and fast now as he counted the true cost of that success…

 _Wasted on you, high on the fumes…_ More memories flooded his head; memories of days long since gone: the Trespassing promo traversing the country from radio station to radio station, with Tommy and his acoustic guitar by his side day after day as they played tracks from his sophomore album. Exhausting travel and hard work softened by the good humour and everlasting loyalty of his _Pretty Kitty_ and best friend. Evenings were spent reworking tracks to keep them fresh, night-time fun skype sessions with Sauli and his days filled with Tommy, music and laughter. A time alive with so much hope for the future…

… _until it became brutally clear RCA were screwing him over and had no intention of sticking their impotent necks out to insist he was given airplay – so vital for longevity and sustained chart success…_

Even then, Tommy was his loudest supporter, the pair of them planning ever more inventive ways to tap into what little promo there was, to get his music out there.

_He missed him so fucking much…_

Despair washed over him as he silenced the TV and flung the remote away. Sliding down the wall, Adam wrapped his arms around his knees and sobbed, the sounds of heartbreak echoing though the empty house.

Many minutes later he was gasping for breath, slumped limp and drained on the floor.

He should be revelling in the success and undoubted belief his new label had in him.

Instead, the only thing on his mind every waking moment was Tommy…

_Tommy had been there for him when things went sour with Sauli._

_Tommy had dried his tears and mended his broken heart, encouraging Adam to patch things up with his tiny Finnish ex-boyfriend and rebuild a lasting friendship in place of the bitter recriminations of their break-up._

_Tommy was the one who could always make Adam laugh, no matter how tough it got._

_Tommy…_

_…the man he loved…had always loved…_

_…know I should let you go…_

Dragging his phone out of his pocket, Adam stared at his lock-screen, their mouths pressed together in the hottest on-stage encounter of his life… _Amsterdam…_

He stroked a finger over their faces, his stomach twisting as the memories of that weed-induced, but hotter-than-fucking-hot, kiss lit up the inside of his skull like fireworks on the fourth of July.

Right now he’d give anything to turn back the clock… _but the world won't stop and all I got is your ghost…_

Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, he hauled his ass off the floor and dropped heavily onto the sofa. How long had it been since he’d spoken to Tommy? Their last actual conversation, face to face, had been the end of February just before Tommy received that fucking letter from the label…the letter telling him to amend his social media bio to clarify he was no longer part of Adam Lambert’s current band…

After missing Tommy’s call and listening to the hurt and confusion-laden message, Adam couldn’t bring himself to admit to Tommy he’d known about this for some time…

Okay, admit it…some _considerable_ time…

Without the words to try and explain, Adam put off the call, citing meetings, bad timing… _the weather…any fucking excuse he could think of to avoid telling Tommy the truth…_

A couple of tweets exchanged back in May - when the fan speculation had reached fever pitch over why Tommy was missing from the Ellen Show band line up - and Tommy had tweeted him, giving him a fresh chance to put things right. He still had that tweet saved as a screen shot… _more pure sap…_

**Fuck ya! GT is gorgeous! Still can’t stop whistling that line haha. Super proud of ya, as always**

The emoji of a dancing girl in a red dress at the end; a clear reference to their last outing in drag for one of Raja’s fashion shows at the Palace, suggested Tommy was open to talking…

Adam just needed to pluck up the courage to call…and he _would…_ but in the meantime…

 **Thanks Tommy !!!! ;)** adding a green heart – their symbol for ‘all good?’ he’d pressed tweet with only momentary hesitation and waited.

And waited.

As May 4th became May 5th and onwards, Adam still stared longingly at his phone every day, lamenting his missed opportunity to call the man he loved more than life itself and missed more than he could ever find the words to say.

Another tweet towards the end of May **Ooo EITN** **Lovely tune ma dawg** gave Adam yet another chance and he actually pressed the call button several times, only to end-call moments later before it had even connected. How could he even _attempt_ to explain? Tommy would hate him for selling out and surely if he _did_ actually find some vaguely useable words, Tommy would never want to speak to him again anyway… _therefore_ …

If they didn’t speak, Adam could tell himself it was all okay; their lives were merely separated by circumstance; temporarily on hold…

All the while, promotion for his single and album continued unabated. It was a frenetic and exciting time; his days full and vibrant, his nights a different story… _another day, another lonely night…_

His nights were haunted by memories of their time together, all the moments they’d shared, all their plans for the future… His recurring nightmare when sleep finally claimed him; always the look in Tommy’s eyes as Adam closed the door in his face - Freud would have much to say about that particular representation of events…

In reality, Adam had argued ferociously against the grey pinstripe-suited promotor’s announcement in that first planning meeting a few weeks before Christmas; the man’s blunt statement shattering all of Adam’s dreams in one foul blow.

“New label, clean slate…” beady eyes behind steel framed glasses fixed Adam with a piercing stare “which means _everything_ and _everybody_ associated with your previous work is excluded from this new phase in your career…”

“But my band…”

“Including your old band. This launch will be totally pure…we’ll give you new musicians; professionals from our pool of…”

“I want _my_ band…” Adam leant forward, throwing a desperate look towards his Manager for support, a note of panic in his voice at the sudden realisation _his_ plans and the _label’s_ plans were starting from very different positions. “They _know_ me, my methods…how I work best…I’ve asked Tommy to be my musical director and…”

Suit shook his head “Not going to happen, I’m afraid” well-manicured fingers pushed his glasses back up his nose “and _especially_ not Mr Ratliff…”

Adam frowned, ignoring the warning shake of Leah’s head, half rising to lean angrily across the table “what the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean? Tommy’s an amazing guitarist – and an all-round musician, he’s the sweetest, most loyal guy and…”

“And the one you kissed on live TV, causing outrage and controversy, for which you refused to apologise and furthermore, continued to kiss every night for nine months on your first tour” Suit cut across Adam’s incensed words before taking a slow breath, in an attempt to calm the rapidly intensifying atmosphere. Standing, he nodded to Leah “I suggest we take a break in which you explain to Adam how this is going to work. There will be no baggage from your previous label and that includes _all_ personnel, in any capacity. _No_ exceptions.”

Sending a scathing glare towards a scowling Adam, the promotor stalked across to the door and closed it loudly behind him.

“Leah, please…you need to convince him I need my band… _my_ band and not some nameless bunch I’ve never met… _please…_ I’m begging you _…”_

_I would do anything to have you by my side…_

“Adam, I’m sorry but they were insistent on this. It’s in your contract - you signed it…”

“But I didn’t realise they could choose my fucking band…” Adam’s face paled “I’ve asked Tommy…” his voice dropped to a broken whisper “how the fuck’m I going to tell him?”

Leah squeezed his arm “I’m sure he’ll understand. These things happen in the music business all the time. You know it’s for the best if you want the label’s full backing…”

“I can’t…” He gazed helplessly at his manager “okay, not the others, but I _have to have_ Tommy…”

“Adam, listen to me” Leah took his hands “this album is by far the best work you’ve ever done and you have the most amazing opportunity here to finally get the wider recognition and radio airplay you were denied by RCA. Do you seriously intend to jeopardise it all by making a fuss over a guitar player?”

“I want Tommy…I _need_ Tommy; and he’s way more than just a guitar player. He’s done so much on these songs already, reworking them to play live, creating setlists, new covers…”

“Then his contribution will be heard every time you perform…” she sighed “can’t you let _that_ be his legacy, knowing you’re singing to his tune…”

“But it won’t be _him_ playing – nobody else sounds like him…” Adam hitched a breath, the tell-tale sparkle of tears glimmering “Tommy’s part of me… _I need him…_ why won’t they see it?”

“They’ve promised the budget for your promo is massive” Leah squeezed his fingers “Be a good boy and agree to everything and I’ll see if there’s anything I can do behind the scenes. Getting into a fight with this guy on the first day isn’t going to do you any favours…” she smiled softly “and I think you know that”

Pulling his hands away, Adam nodded slowly “but you’ll ask?”

“I promise! Now let’s start spending their dollars on getting your music to every corner of the planet and justify that global superstar tag from Billboard last week.”

Moving to pour two coffees from the stand in the corner, they were sat back at the table when suit returned. Pausing deliberately in the doorway, he made eye contact with each of them before topping up his coffee and re-joining them.

“I trust we are now ready to move forward?” The minute flicker of his eyes towards Adam left them in no doubt it would be meeting over if there was any further hint of rebellion.

“We’re very excited to hear what you have in mind…” Leah smiled approvingly as Adam pulled his chair in closer.

Suit took a mouthful of coffee and cleared his throat, opening the file in front of him. “We’ve set your initial promotional budget at seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars, with a target audience worldwide. We have a provisional programme of television and radio appearances, a number of live performances of the first single and an exclusive album launch party with iHeart in New York in June.” His thin face cracked a grin at the incredulous expression on their faces, before continuing as he indicated various items on the heavily populated, multi-coloured spreadsheet.

“Initial research with industry publications across the globe shows an overwhelmingly positive response to your album, so we intend to start with US promo – you’ll premiere the lead single on the Ellen Show at the end of April - then we have events in the UK, Finland, Australia, Amsterdam and Canada for the rest of Phase One.

Phase Two starts on the day of the album release with that exclusive iHeart concert; they will be promoting across their entire network, with tickets and meet and greets for listeners to win. This is followed by appearances in multiple countries - some are revisits to expand on the work set in motion in Phase One, others are completely new and we are adding to these every day. Phase Three is combined with your South American shows with Queen…” beady eyes gleamed triumphantly behind his glasses “I have to admit to some excitement for that particular segment of the programme.” A finely shaped fingernail tapped several times on September, lingering, before he moved onwards.

“Phase Four begins after the Queen events, leading into the December Holiday radio show season and culminates with a New Year’s Eve spectacular. We’re currently in discussions with several venues for that one so nothing concrete yet. With me so far?”

The grin reappeared at two silent nods, both in stunned unison.

“From there we are looking provisionally at tour dates. That, of course, depends on the uptake of the singles and the album itself. The schedule is fairly flexible at this stage and we can add or move as required.”

Slim fingers flicked through the pages to tug out a single sheet which he handed to Leah. “This is for an initial advance of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for immediate expenses. Radio fees and musicians will be paid centrally so you won’t need to include those in your own costings.” A sleek gold pen was extracted from an inner pocket and offered to Adam’s manager. “If you’re happy with the terms, a signature from each of you will see the funds transferred to your Warner Brothers client account by the day’s end and I have copies of the full itinerary so far, for you to take away and examine before our next meeting.”

One signature on the dotted line later and Adam knew he’d signed away any chance of getting Tommy back up there on stage by his side…the price was too high and Leah would never let him jeopardise this golden opportunity…

_…forgive me Tommy…_

_…always assuming I could ever forgive myself…_

The slow chimes of 2am from the Grandfather clock in the hall dragged Adam back to the present and he shivered, cold and miserable on the sofa, but with no desire to head off to his lonely bed and the relentless nightmares of his betrayal… _another day, another lonely night…_

_Tommy…_

_Don't wanna throw away another lonely life…_

Giving in to the inevitable, he pushed to his feet and dragged his reluctant body up the stairs to his bedroom. The room was beautiful; serene in cream and gold with a simple elegance that usually never failed to lift his spirits and, above his bed, in seemingly stark contrast, the Aquarius Wolf art Sauli had given him for his birthday two years ago.

That picture was one of his most favourite things in the world, along with one other...

“ **No**!” His voice sounded excessively loud in the silence as he stripped off quickly and slid between the crisply laundered sheets. Forcing his eyes away from the alcove, he curled up on his side and snapped off the light.

Slumber continued to elude him as his eyes burned through the darkness, drawn towards… Shifting onto his back he stared up at the ceiling, willing his tired body to succumb to the call of the nightly hell of his dreams. His eyelids closed, only to fly open moments later as his brain refused to be drawn from its need to see…to reaffirm… _no time to sleep, all that I see, are old memories of you…_

“Fuck it, Lambert. Just look at it, then get some fucking sleep.”

The duvet was flung aside as he swung back out of bed and strode across to the alcove. Tugging the curtain open to let in the moonlight, it reflected off the flame maple body of Tommy’s guitar, sending a sudden pang of nostalgia to twist the knife currently buried to the hilt in Adam’s stomach. Trembling fingers stroked the fret as he landed heavily on the den chair - also from that scene in the _Whataya want from me_ music video.

The mic stand taunted him, standing silent and alone as it cast its shadow across the floor…

So many memories…

So good they hurt…

Allowing himself to wallow in the bitter-sweetness of the rapid replay of that day; a time of much laughter and hard work as they captured the magic of that Pink, Max Martin and Shellback penned song, onto video, was a guaranteed stab to the heart…

…but he went there anyway...

After multiple takes from umpteen different angles, they’d celebrated with a picnic of tacos and ice cream in Adam’s bed as they watched _Velvet Goldmine_ into the early hours of the morning.

Waking up the next day, still in his clothes, with his arms full of Tommy and his nose buried in that ginger and lime shampoo- scented mop of blond hair with its black bangs had been…

Biting back the whimper that threatened to reopen the floodgates, Adam clenched his fists and stood, closed the curtain and returned to his cold and lonely bed.

Exhaustion finally claimed him as he slipped into a restless sleep, with no respite to be found in his dreams…

Adam’s eyes twinkled wickedly as he leapt out on an unsuspecting Tommy, engulfing his tiny bassist in a tangle of sheets from the bed. Giggling at the startled shriek and subsequent string of swear words, somewhat muffled from underneath the high thread count Egyptian cotton, Adam wrapped Tommy into a tight hug and shuffled them both across the room to tumble onto the mattress.

Sat firmly astride the squirming body below him, Adam proceeded to unwrap his captive, grinning at the expression on Tommy’s face – frustration and hilarity in equal measure as Adam’s fingers found all of Tommy’s ticklish spots. Gasping for breath, Tommy stilled, eyes widening as he felt Adam’s body pressing hard against him, his own response mirroring that of his captor…his boss…best friend…

Gazes locked they stared at each other. Adam leant closer as Tommy’s lips parted, neither noticing the director watching them from the open doorway. Beckoning Cam over, Diane nodded towards the pair “are they…?”

Cam grinned “Who knows! And I don’t think they know either; it’s like some elaborate dance and every time they get close enough to make that final connection, something happens and they never quite get there…”

“Ah, I like that. We can use that kind of emotion…” She watched them a moment longer before pulling out the familiar whistle and raising it to her lips.

Cam chuckled and backed away to preserve her ear drums.

The shrill blast of the whistle made them jump, followed by a rush of heat to Tommy’s cheeks as Diane approached the bed and he realised they’d had an audience. Adam, damn him, just laughed and settled himself more comfortably on Tommy’s stomach as they listened to the Director’s suggestions for tweaking the theme behind this part of the shoot.

Fifteen minutes later they’d created a den area on the set using Monte’s guitars and Tommy’s bass rack, along with Tommy’s acoustic guitar leaning up against the wall. Diane nodded approval “okay, anything else?”

“The kitchen’s too tidy!” Adam grinned “he’s a messy chef – and he can only cook take-out!”

Tommy stuck his tongue out “Only because you’re a neat freak!” Good humoured shoving and scuffling broke out, the crew grinning as the Director rolled her eyes and instructed the set dressers to make the kitchen look “lived in” for when Adam sat on the counter. The bed she left as it was; unmade and crumpled…

“And _action_ …”

With Tommy stood behind the cameraman, Adam’s impassioned and frustrated pleas to his best friend were captured _up close and personal_ , adding an intimate and heart-breaking edge to the recording. Adam’s voice, meaningful lyrics and the set, all combined to create a stunning video to showcase everything Adam needed to say... _yeah I try my best, but there's no one left for me to lose…_

It was pure art at its best…

Adam’s head thrashed from side to side on the pillow as the room darkened and the film rewound. Now he found himself face to face with Tommy at every stage of the filming, his huge brown eyes filled with hurt as he asked repeatedly _what do you want from me, Adam?_

Adam’s mouth opened to reply, but no sound emerged, the words tangling inside his head unable to escape. As the Tommy in his nightmare closed in on him, Adam made a bolt for it and fled outside, pushing through the crowds of fans to the sanctuary of his car, tears streaming down his face. The driver floored it, leaving Tommy and the set far behind… _tear in my eye, I drive through the night, as far as I can from you…_

Safely back at his house, Adam fumbled the door with trembling hands and sank back against the reassuring solid oak as it closed behind him. Numerous shaky breaths later, he headed towards the living space, colour draining from his face as he was somehow transported back to the set to replay the song, only it was Tommy sat on the sofa, clutching his letter… _that fucking WBR letter…_ _What do you want from me, Adam?_ Tommy’s liquid eyes drilled through Adam’s tormented soul, those perfect, kissable lips forming the words over and over…

Stumbling out of the room with Tommy chasing behind him, Adam begged for the night to end _…and I don't give a fuck if the sun comes up, yeah…_

The insistent ringing from his phone, as it vibrated on the nightstand, finally penetrated his dreams and he hit answer, his nightmare-addled brain supplying the one voice calling his name…

“Tommy? Tommy, talk to me…please…” _It's just another…_

The brief silence on the other end was broken by Sutan’s voice, snapping Adam from his dream world and back into reality… _another day, another lonely night…_

“Adam...honey, it’s Sutan” He paused, giving Adam a moment to shake off the remnants of his night terrors, “get the coffee on, I’ll be there in ten. You’re going to tell me what’s going on, and _no_ , you don’t have a choice!” The line went dead, leaving Adam almost relieved he’d finally be sharing his guilt.

With the coffee duly prepared and gurgling merrily through the machine as ordered, Adam took a hurried shower, pulled on his baggy leisure pants and was just starting to towel his hair when Sutan arrived. Taking one look at the dark shadows under Adam’s eyes, Sutan pulled his friend into a hug and held him, rocking them both gently.

Adam resisted briefly before clinging on tightly, his fingers curling into the soft fabric of the other man’s cashmere sweater. “Sshh, tranma’s here now. Everything’ll be okay…”

A strangled sob burst from Adam’s lips as Sutan steered them towards the sofa and eased them down onto the soft leather, Adam immediately crawling into his lap.

Folding his arms firmly around a now trembling Adam, Sutan let him cry it out, rubbing comforting circles on his back until the choking sobs gave way to broken whimpers and finally all was quiet.

Tipping Adam’s face up, gentle fingers wiped away the tear tracks with the hem of his sweater. “Better?”

Snuggling back into Sutan’s embrace, Adam nodded.

“You want to tell me what’s going on with Tommy? I’m guessing you still haven’t called him…”

“I can’t…” Adam’s voice shook “how the fuck do I tell him I sold him out…”

“He knows it wasn’t your choice…”

“I can’t face him, can’t have him hate me…what I did to him…”

“ _Adam Mitchel Lambert_ ”

Adam jumped at the use of his full name, eyes widening with horror as Sutan nudged him off his lap and stood up.

“Don’t go…I didn’t mean t…”

A frown and a shake of Sutan’s head silenced Adam’s frantic pleas, realisation dawning as Sutan dug his phone from his back pocket and sat down again, lifting his arm so Adam could cuddle in close.

Flicking through his pictures with one hand, Sutan tugged Adam closer “You know that boy doesn’t have a hateful bone in his entire body” he flicked a shrewd glance to meet Adam’s eyes “Shame on you, when you know the _only_ one who hates you is _you…_ ” His tone softened as the tell-tale glimmer of fresh tears welled and Adam looked away “You have to forgive yourself, boo, or it’ll eat you up…”

Not trusting himself to speak without the floodgates reopening, Adam nodded mutely.

Reaching the picture he was searching for, Sutan tapped it to fill the small screen. “You remember this? What we said that night?”

Adam stared at the photo of the three of them – him, Tommy and the Lady Raja, all rocking stunning red floor-length gowns for the Life Group LA, Annual Fashion Show event held at Raja’s Palace to raise funds – and awareness – of the support for those diagnosed with HIV and Aids. It had been a wild night; full of love, laughter and the promise of forever.

Stretching a hand out, Adam stroked a finger over Tommy’s face, the stage lights behind them in the club casting a glow over Tommy’s pale skin so it gleamed like porcelain and the rich red of the orchid in his hair stood out in stark contrast. Tommy’s lips…soft, kissable lips…curved in a delighted grin as he rested his blond head against Adam’s shoulder...

Half crying, half laughing, Adam managed a hoarse giggle “ _The Three_ _Biatches…_ ”

“All for one and one for all…” Sutan relinquished his hold on the phone to tip Adam’s face towards him, a warm smile belying the gentle teasing “unless it’s my sparkly Louboutin’s and then it’s talons off biatches!”

Clutching the phone tightly, Adam pressed closer into Sutan’s side, his voice dropping to a whisper “you know I love him” It wasn’t a question and it felt fucking amazing to finally say it out loud to another person. He met Sutan’s fond gaze “I love him!”

Sutan chuckled “I _know_ , honey…we _all_ know! But _he_ doesn’t…and it’s high time he did!”

Warm and safe in his friend’s embrace, Adam nodded determinedly. He could do this…could tell his best friend he loved him… _his best friend he sold out for a huge promotional budget_ … That beautiful elfin face, clouded with hurt and confusion, swam into sharp focus in his head, and despair drove his high hopes away as quickly as they’d arisen, leaving him once more on the brink of emotional meltdown.

Watching the conflicting emotions chase across Adam’s face, Sutan sighed softly. This was going to be even more of a challenge than he’d thought…

Retrieving his phone he forwarded the picture to Adam’s email. “A reminder of what you’re fighting for, boo.”

Digging his own phone from his pocket, Adam’s freckles turned a fetching shade of pink as Sutan clocked his lock screen and background.

“Although from what I’m seeing, you don’t need any more reminders!” Squeezing Adam’s shoulder reassuringly, he sat up “Fear not, your secret is safe with Raja! So, let’s have that coffee and see what we can figure out to get you and your beautiful man together.” Standing, he held out his hand and hauled Adam off the sofa, landing a playful swat on his ass as his friend headed out to the kitchen.

As Adam groped in the cupboard for mugs, Sutan diverted back to the front door to retrieve the takeout bag he’d abandoned on arrival.

Sat at the breakfast bar they sipped coffee and chewed on cinnamon swirls in companionable silence, each following their own train of thoughts.

Draining the last of his coffee, Sutan set his mug back on the counter and entwined his fingers with Adam’s. “You need to talk to him, and I mean face to face. Nothing else is going to be enough and…” he paused, choosing his words deliberately “you owe it to him to look into those beautiful eyes and say sorry…” A swift finger pressed against Adam’s lips silenced the indignant protest about to burst free “… _sorry_ for not having the balls to call him, and _then_ you can tell him you love him and beg forgiveness.”

“What if…” Adam’s voice hitched, dropping to a barely there whisper “what if he says no…what if he can’t…”

“You love him completely no matter what?”

“Yes…but…” An elegant eyebrow raised, gently questioning… “ _Yesyesyes_ … **yes…I fucking love him!** ” _I would do anything to have you by my side…_

“Then he’s worth the risk of getting your heart broken.” Squeezing Adam’s captive fingers briefly, Sutan released them and dragged his barstool closer. “Now, let’s have a look at your schedule and see when you’ve got a break.”

Calendars open, they compared “I’ve got rehearsal in an hour and Morongo Casino for The Trevor Project tonight, staying over until late morning and back home tomorrow afternoon ready for The Talk on Monday morning. Then nothing until next Saturday, although Leah is quite likely to drop a dozen things in my lap when I see her later!”

“And you will tell her you are unavailable this week, boo. I’ll see if I can get Tommy to the club on Tuesday. From there, it’s up to you.”

“Has he…” Adam paused, biting his lip “has he _said…_ ”

Cupping Adam’s face in his hands, Sutan dropped a kiss on the end of his nose “That’s for you and he to sort out” He grinned at Adam’s frustrated expression “Honey, I love you both and I will do everything I can to get you boys together where you belong, but this is something only _you_ can put right. You have to lay yourself bare…”

Shaking his head at the sudden flare of heat in Adam’s eyes, Sutan chuckled “and that too!”

Shoving Sutan playfully with his shoulder, Adam glanced at the clock and stood, gathering their mugs and plates “Time for a top-up before I have to go meet my new guitarist?”

“Another one?”

Adam shrugged, a rueful half smile ghosting over his face “Let’s just say the one I had for my last album’s a tough act to follow and I haven’t quite found the right one yet…” He waved towards his phone and Tommy’s happy grin “they all remind me too much of my act of betrayal.”

Taking his refilled mug, Sutan nodded understanding “then the sooner you talk to him…”

Adam averted his eyes, blinking back the sting of fresh tears as despair and self-loathing washed back over him in full force. Turning away, he stared out of the window, immersing himself in memories from the time before that fucking letter; a time when he still nursed a faint hope Leah would perform a miracle and get the veto lifted…

_Who the fuck was he trying to kid?_

_Another day, another lonely night…_

Two mugs of fresh coffee in his hands, Adam leant against the doorframe into his studio, watching as Tommy shuffled backwards on the floor until his ass hit the sofa and he grunted, blissfully unaware of Adam’s eyes fixed hungrily on his every movement. A horror-sleeve tattooed arm stretched forward to snag the sheet music he was working on, Tommy’s pencil hovering over the notes as he hummed them to himself.

Adam grinned as Tommy cursed and scribbled an alteration on his sheet before resuming his humming, pausing to mumble some of the lyrics under his breath. Leaning forward, Adam caught the faint strains of the chorus of _Another Lonely Night._ For reasons known only to Tommy, something appeared to be troubling him about this particular section as he repeated it several times with growing frustration, his blond head tilted as if listening for a specific note.

Finally defeated, Tommy slapped the floor, glaring at his music as he chewed absently on his bottom lip. Just when the straining bulge in Adam’s pants decided he couldn’t take any more of this delicious torture, Tommy grinned and dragged his phone out, swiping through the screens until he found whatever it was he was looking for.

Intrigued, Adam wriggled silently, attempting to ease the discomfort below his belt without having to touch, and waited to see what his friend…his best friend… _best friend he was in love with but didn’t dare confess in case he scared him away forever_ …was up to.

Whatever it was, it obviously required the use of an iPad as well as his phone, the resultant side shuffle and stretch to grab said tech from the music stand exposing a delightful glimpse of pale flesh, before Tommy resumed his previous position. Suitably armed with all ingredients, he tapped industriously. The room echoed to the verse before the chorus, from the ipad, followed by a Chipmunk-esque _yeah_ in place of Adam’s voice from the phone as he led into the chorus.

Tommy snorted with laughter and repeated it, before tapping again to produce a bullfrog-like croak instead. Further hilarity ensued with a variety of different animal sound effects as the app distorted Adam’s voice, finally settling on a favourite as the _moo_ effect was edited into the song and the whole thing played through.

With the coffee in his hands now stone cold, Adam dumped the mugs on the floor against the wall and applauded, his heart melting at the sight of a helpless-with-laughter Tommy desperately trying not to look guilty and stop giggling at the same time.

Dropping down onto the floor beside him, Adam tapped Tommy’s nose playfully “you ‘moo’d my ‘yeah’ out of existence, you devil child! I’ll have to spank your ass for tha…” he broke off as Tommy’s eyes widened with an emotion that most definitely wasn’t horror and Adam’s pants strained at the seams as his entire circulation headed south at the sudden mental image of Tommy’s bare backside bent enticingly over his lap.

Throwing all caution – and self-control – aside, Adam grabbed Tommy’s face and crushed their lips together, Tommy’s startled gasp morphing into a wanton moan as Adam’s tongue plundered his mouth, exploring every contour with possessive intent.

Tommy’s fingers tangled into Adam’s hair as they crawled progressively further into each other’s mouths, Adam moving to straddle Tommy’s skinny hips, grinding down as they chased the delicious friction, just on the wrong side of not enough…

Coming up for air, Tommy was panting and he looked completely debauched; eyes glazed and lips glistening pink and kiss swollen. Gazing at him, Adam had never seen anything quite so beautiful.

Tommy blinked, panic flooding his face and he shoved Adam off him.

“Tommy? Baby…I’m sor…” Adam reached a hand tentatively towards the now trembling man beside him.

“I have to go…” Scrambling up off the floor, Tommy snatched his jacket from the sofa and fled, the front door banging moments later.

“ ** _Fuck_**. Fuck it Lambert, you had to push it…” Adam punched the floor in frustration at his own weakness, before slumping back against the sofa. The iPad had moved on to the next song in Tommy’s playlist, the very appropriate Chris Isaacs’ _Wicked Game_ filling the room with his seductive lament.

_Don't wanna throw away another lonely life_

Three anxious days of silence followed, during which time Adam alternately cursed himself to eternity for thinking with his dick, or spent pleasurable shower time remembering the feel of Tommy’s lips pressed hard his own and the sensation of their hips grinding together…

 **Dude, you still comin’ to get Etta’s jabs?** Adam’s phone beeped a message and his face lit up, tapping an affirmative almost before the beeps had stopped.

Hesitating momentarily, he added a second reply **Forgive me** pressing send before he could change his mind.

 **Sometimes you’re such a fuckwit! Nowt to forgive. Get over yourself rockstar – not like we haven’t made out before! Haha! Pick us up two thirty then we can take her out after. Bring money - you’re buying coffee!** The typical Tommy response triggered a rush of mixed emotions and by the time he’d reasserted control Adam’s eyes were red and his face was wet with tears. With less than an hour left to get ready, he took his ass off to the bathroom, and if he happened to replay those particular making-out moments again…

Finally emerging from the shower, sated and weak-at-the-knees, Adam dragged on his favourite ripped jeans, geometric design black and white top and his trusty old boots, roughly towel dried his hair and left it product free _fucking sappy but Tommy always liked his hair natural…_ Jamming a ball cap on his head, he grabbed his jacket and keys and headed out to his car.

Tommy was already waiting outside his building as Adam drew up, tiny bulldog pup _Etta James_ cuddled close in his arms. Skinny jeans, faded Metallica tee and battered leather jacket, all in his trademark black, set off by freshly cut and coloured hair hanging seductively over one eye and two days’ growth on his chin, all combining to send Adam’s circulation into immediate disarray; Tommy was sexy as sin.

Leaping out, Adam skipped around to open the door and the Tommy/Etta combo slid into the cool interior, settling back against soft leather as Adam reached across to secure Tommy’s seatbelt. Once clicked into place, he petted Etta’s head, tickling under her chin as she attempted to lick his fingers to death “Hey beautiful…”

“Hey yourself!” Tommy’s amused voice had Adam raising his head slowly to meet Tommy’s gaze.

“I was talking to Etta!” Adam grinned “But you’re beautiful too!” This was them, how they were…

A gentle tug on his hair brought him back to reality. “You zoned out on me there, boo.” Sutan squeezed his shoulder “you okay?”

“Yeah, just remembering…how it was before…”

“And will be again! Remember those times and fight to get them back, you got that?” Sutan put his sunglasses on and looked over the top of them “or do I need to get the Lady out?” Brown eyes twinkled at Adam as he put his hands up in mock horror.

“I’ve got it! Promise!”

“Good! Now go change and grab your gear or you’ll be late. You can walk me down and tell me what you’re going to sing tonight…”

As the bathroom door closed behind Adam, Sutan opened his messages and sent several in rapid succession, grinning as the replies came in almost immediately. The stage was set.

Fierce hugs later and Adam, and his overnight bag, were safely settled in the official car, with the ever efficient Mattie at the wheel, on the way to rehearsal. Impulsively, Adam added _Wicked Game_ to the setlist…

_No I don't give a fuck if the sun comes up, yeah…_

Leah met him at the door and introduced Brad, the latest guitarist offering. As he shook the extended hand, Adam couldn’t help grinning; this time they’d sent him a skinny blonde with more than a passing resemblance to his preferred guitarist of choice, despite the fact Brad was at least a foot taller. Releasing his grip on his newest band member, he headed for his mic stand “Let’s do this shit!”

_It's just another…_

Rehearsal went well and Brad coped with everything Adam threw at him. He wasn’t Tommy in style or sound, but… Supressing a wistful sigh, Adam gave thumbs up and they loaded out twenty minutes later, piling onto the bus for the ninety minute trip to Cabazon… _another day, another lonely night…_

Dropping into the seat next to Leah for their usual update, Adam opened his phone calendar. “I need some time off next week.”

Proving yet again why he loved her so much, Leah merely nodded and flicked through her notes. “I can pull everything up to Friday. Friday’s photoshoot would be difficult to rearrange…” she looked at him appraisingly “do I need to be concerned?”

“I’m going to sort things out with Tommy”

“About time you grew a pair!” Her fond smile sent warmth coursing through his veins, to settle happily in his tummy and he grinned back at her as she nudged him with her elbow. “So, what do you think of your new guitarist?”

“You think they’re trying to meet me halfway now?”

“He does look a bit like him in a certain light…” Leah chuckled “are you going to make him wear that hideous poncho?”

“Hmm…”Adam pondered and shook his head “He took everything in his stride at rehearsal, including the extra song with no warning. I think he’s done enough to be spared!”

Patting his hand, Leah dug into her bag and pulled out a purple pen, crossing through the various engagements and scribbling notes for potential rearrange dates.

Watching, Adam quashed the guilt at the undoubted hours of extra work it would take her to reschedule. Tommy was worth it… _I would do anything to have you by my side…_

Feeling his eyes on her, Leah glanced up “It’s fine, Adam, and for the record, I’m proud of how you’ve coped with the disappointment – even if you are getting through guitarists at a spectacular rate! You go do what you need to do…”

Impulsively, Adam leant across and pressed a kiss to her cheek, before retreating to the rear of the bus to join his band, flopping into an empty seat to listen to the heated discussion raging over the best guitar solos in history. Brad earned himself some serious kudos with his choices; Jimi Hendrix _All Along the Watchtower_ , Queen’s Brian May _Bohemian Rhapsody_ and Eric Clapton _Layla._

As the debate sidestepped to a consideration of the best Hendrix performances, Adam’s attention wandered to recall his own all-time favourite performance of _Purple Haze…_

Amsterdam had been a highly anticipated stop on the GlamNation Tour, the welcoming and permissive culture living up to its reputation in every way possible. Consequently, they were all a little drunk and more than a little high when they hit the stage, the audience feeding off the energy and lapping up the unscripted shenanigans as Adam puffed on a spliff between songs.

A hard, fast kiss during _Purple Haze_ only fuelled his desire to have more of his incredibly sexy bassist – even if he was wearing that hated black lipstick; hated only for the smearing it left behind if he managed to steal a kiss or two…

It seemed only natural to follow Hendrix with a fan – and band -favourite Led Zeppelin track to close out the show. _Whole lotta love_ was pure sex from the very first note; Adam’s evident arousal bulging in his tight pants, drawing screams of hysteria from the audience as he rubbed it repeatedly before swaying up the steps to purr his lyrics into Tommy’s ear.

One glance through Tommy’s long lashes was all it took, desire smouldering deep in those liquid brown pools and Adam’s mouth was on Tommy’s, bending him backwards as their tongues danced a wild tango and the crowd shrieked fit to raise the roof. Breaking off only when they ran out of air, Tommy moaned softly, the sound almost enough to make Adam come in his pants as he flung his head back and wailed the song to its climax; _pun most definitely intended_.

Five minutes later Adam was in his dressing room, door locked and his hand working frantically as he panted Tommy’s name like a mantra.

“Hey, bossman?”

“Huh?” Adam jumped and re-joined the present to find the entire band gazing at him.

“You okay?” Peter hesitated, a pale tinge colouring his cheeks as he continued “only you were moaning like a cat in heat.”

“Re-living a few memories…” Adam grinned at the deepening colour on his keyboard player’s face. “There’s nothing quite like _Whole lotta love_ when you’re floating in a haze of booze and weed” he chuckled “it’s quite the original high!”

Brad leant forward “I watched that on YouTube the other night when I was checking you out after they gave me this gig. It was fucking hot… _how_ he kept playing…fucking awesome.”

Adam winked at the others “I’m sure we can work some stage kissing into the set if you…”

“What? Fuck no!” Brad spluttered in horror “I mean, you’re a hot dude and all that, but…” he broke off as the others fell about and he realised he was being set up “Fuckers! Pick on the new guy!”

Grinning as he pushed to his feet, Adam smacked his newest guitarist on the back “you passed the test, now just be thankful you don’t have to wear the poncho!”

Leaving the band to their continuing discussion of best stage performances, Adam poured a coffee from the machine and found himself a seat away from everyone. Gazing absently out of the window, his thoughts returned once more to a mop of blond hair, deep brown eyes and softly pouting, endlessly kissable lips… _another day, another lonely night…_ Sutan was right; it was time and maybe by Tuesday evening he’d be reconciled with his best friend... _and the man he loved more than words could ever say…_

In the aftermath…yeah, real smartass using his own song lyrics…of that letter, he’d been spurred into some guilt induced catching up with his previous band members, sending handwritten notes and a loyalty bonus, along with his thanks and good wishes for their future.

One payment still hadn’t been claimed from his account…

Instead, two days later, a large box file had arrived on his doorstep – _literally on his doorstep_ – from somebody who knew the keycode to get in through the security gate. Tearing off the folded note attached, Adam would recognise that handwriting anywhere…

**_Thought you might want these. This album is going to smash the fucking world. Always proud, ma dawg._ **

Clutching the note to his chest, Adam fought back the rush of tears as he realised this was the end of his dream; Tommy would not be playing alongside him on stage for era three. The delivery of all of his music on the different album songs and covers, multiple set lists of different lengths, all worked to play live in rock, funk or acoustic, hammered it home…

Tommy had given up everything for him.

_Don't wanna throw away another lonely life…_

Memories crashed through Adam’s head, lost opportunities to tell Tommy how he felt – both before _and_ after Sauli…

Pillow fighting in that Paris hotel while everyone else was hitting a club and Tommy had opted instead to catch up on some sleep. Adam had been in the club for a mere fifteen minutes before he realised his heart was elsewhere and he’d returned to find Tommy sprawled out on his bed, totally naked and waving his hands and feet in the air. Adam’s mouth went dry at the sight of Tommy’s milky white skin, his horror tattoo sleeve startling in contrast to the paleness of the surrounding flesh.

“Adam! _What the fuck_?” Tommy’s sudden discovery of his audience had heat flooding Adam’s cheeks and he babbled incoherently as Tommy covered himself with a pillow.

Seeing the amused twinkle in Tommy’s eye, Adam recovered enough to gabble about the club being no fun without him and he’d have stayed if he knew Tommy was going to strip and shake his junk at the ceiling.

Tommy’s laughter caressed Adam’s ears a split second before the pillow hit him on the chin and he staggered. Grabbing the missile, Adam leapt towards the bed as Tommy snatched up another one and they traded blows, helpless giggles eventually seeing them collapse back onto the bed in a breathless heap.

“Just so you know, I was drying my nail polish…” Tommy lifted his head from Adam’s stomach to meet his gaze “you interrupted me before I could start on the junk shaking!”

“No need to stop on my account! If you want to shake it, go ahead; I’ll even sing accompaniment for you…” Adam gulped as the words spilled out before he could stop them “or I could just watch…” And there it was again – that unfathomable look on Tommy’s face as something akin to desire flashed for a split second and his eyes darkened; before it was gone again and Tommy looked away.

For long moments neither moved, silence hanging heavy in the air until a door banging in the corridor outside broke the spell. Adam shoved Tommy towards the edge of the bed with a crooked grin “go cover that cute ass and I’ll order us some tacos and ice cream. We’ll have a movie session…”

“Awesome fucking idea! Don’t forget my beer!” Wiggling his non-existent backside as he paused in the doorway to the bathroom, Tommy threw a flirty glance over his shoulder before closing the door behind him as Adam gaped, once more lost for words.

Staring at the space where Tommy had been moments earlier, Adam sighed softly. If he had any balls he’d march into the bathroom and tell Tommy exactly how he felt, followed by a blow by blow _what was it with those fucking puns_ account of what he’d like to do to him…

Instead, after another wistful look at the closed door, Adam called room service to put in the order and lamented yet another missed opportunity to come clean… _and that was one pun too many…_

His phone buzzed, jolting him back to the present. Dragging it out of his pocket, he swiped answer “Mom!” Happy conversation followed as he swapped arrival times and scheduling, arranging to meet her in his dad’s room around half two after soundcheck. A family reunion was always good.

Content with his plans, Adam drained the last of his coffee and sat back, closed his eyes and concentrated on his breathing routine.

Around him the chatter continued until they rolled up outside the Morongo Casino Resort and Spa, an oasis of luxury at the foothills of California’s San Gorgonio and San Jacinto Mountains.

Adam stretched and peered out of the window as Leah and John vanished into the main reception to sort check in. According to the site notes the ‘endless blue sky guaranteed spectacular views of the mountain peaks’ but today it was unseasonally grey and the mountains were encased in thick cloud.  

By the time they’d all picked up their gear, Leah was back with a handful of keycards. Dishing them out she ran through the schedule “It’s almost one now, get settled in your rooms and soundcheck at one thirty. Then you’re free until seven thirty, apart from Adam who has an interview at seven.” She glanced around with a smile “everyone ready to rock?”

Piling into the elevator, they stopped at the twenty first floor for Leah, John and the band to exit, leaving Adam to continue up in solitary grandeur to the canyon view suites at the very top of the twenty-seven storey hotel. Even with the mountain tops swathed in heavy cloud, the views from the massive picture windows were still stunning and he gazed out at the landscape for many awed minutes before shedding his clothes and heading for the shower.

Duly refreshed, he dressed and rang down for some tea before sending a couple of quick messages to confirm his arrival to his parents. Unpacking was the work of mere moments for this brief, one night, stay and he was done before the tea arrived. Tipping the server, he returned to take in the view once more as he sipped his drink, a delighted smile lighting his face as replies buzzed on his phone; **love you, see you soon** from his mom and a room number from his dad.

This was going to be a fun gig.

Draining the last of his tea, the tray was left outside the door as he called for the elevator. He had the mirror glazed box to himself for the swift ride down to their assigned meeting place on the lower ground floor, exiting to find everyone else already there.

As one, they all looked at their watches.

“Hey, I’m not _that_ late!”

Laughter and boisterous scuffling broke out as Adam realised they were screwing with him and the energetic exchange of insults and gestures continued as they piled into the guest carts taking them to the stage. As they tumbled off backstage, Leah threw the dreaded poncho at him with a grin “I told them last one here gets to wear it!”

“What?” Adam’s horrified face had everyone else cracking up “I didn’t get that memo!”

“Man up!” Leah shoved him with her elbow “It’s character-building; show ‘em how to rock that thing!” She chuckled as Adam rolled his eyes good humouredly and tugged the offending blanket over his head “there, you see, you look beautiful!”

Herding them onto the stage she joined John in the audience pit as everyone threw themselves into soundcheck. Fifty minutes later they had an amended introduction and an extended band segment mid-point to allow Adam the costume change he’d decided to add, plus a run through of the twelve song set under their belts.

Calling the session to a close, Adam tugged the poncho off and tossed it back to Leah. “I won’t need a workout now, that thing’s a fucking sweat box!” He laughed as she wrinkled her nose, dropping an arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the guest carts for their return to the main hotel. “Time to consign it to the trash I think!”

The mood was one of enthusiasm and good humour as they waited for the elevator, Leah’s reminders ringing in their ears as they went their separate ways.

Adam dived into the bathroom as soon as he made it back to his room, a swift wash and brush up and he was _almost_ on time as he slithered into a pair of battered ripped jeans and long time favourite black and white striped tee. Shoving his feet into his boots, he grabbed his phone and took to the stairs for the two floors descent to his dad’s room.

The door opened instantly to his tap, his mom tugging him into a fierce hug and he sank into the familiar embrace as she shuffled them further into the room. Releasing her hold, Leila stepped back and scrutinised him, her warm smile widening as she nodded approval. “You look fantastic” she cupped his cheek softly “a little tired, but I’m not surprised with everything you’re doing right now and your dad and I are so proud of you.” Linking their hands she led him across the room towards the open French windows and the balcony where Adam could make out the murmur of several other undefined voices outside.

“You didn’t tell me Neil was coming too” he grinned in happy anticipation of a wind-up session with his brother.

“Eber, Adam is here” Stopping short of the doors, Leila squeezed his hand. “We thought it was time for a reunion…”

“Hey, Ad…good to see you” Adam was engulfed in a bear hug as his dad held him tight before pulling back to whisper “He’s not to blame; we all pulled a number on him…” Eber held Adam at arm’s length, fixing him with a fond but serious gaze “time to put everything right, son”

Confusion in his eyes, Adam spun around to see Sutan and Tommy stood in the doorway from the balcony. _Tommy was here…here now…_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay - many things going on, including ill health, but mainly because my 'final' edit ended up adding another 6000 words as the bunnies hijacked it! There will now also be an epilogue!

Sutan prodded Tommy over the threshold and into the room, folding the tiny blond into a brief hug before moving across to squeeze Adam’s arm reassuringly.

“We’re going downstairs for coffee” Leila smiled as she accepted Sutan’s arm “we’ll see you boys later…”

Ruffling Adam’s hair, Eber nodded encouragement and followed his ex-wife, closing the door softly behind him.

Adam barely noticed them go, his eyes fixed intently on Tommy in case this was a dream and he’d vanish if Adam blinked. Squirming at the intense gaze, Tommy looked down at his nails, self-consciously picking at the chipped black polish. 

Opening his mouth, Adam imitated a goldfish as no sound emerged, repeating the action several times with ever-growing panic until he managed a distressed parrot-like squawk.

The unusual sound had Tommy looking up, a wry grin spreading across his face “If we’re using animal noise greetings, I think the preferred term here is _moo!”_ His head tilted thoughtfully “and if I say so myse…”

He cut off abruptly as he was crushed into a tight embrace, Adam’s tears dripping wet against his skin “ _Tommy’msorry-’msorry-’msoverysorry-canyoueverforgiveme…”_ the words running into each other as they spilled out, morphing into broken sobs as Tommy’s arms tightened instinctively around the distraught man.

As sobs gave way to tiny gasps for breath, Tommy loosened his hold enough to look up into Adam’s eyes; those crystal blue depths now red-rimmed and swollen. “There’s nothing to forgive, apart from the need to kick your dumb ass into the middle of next week for not messaging me…”

“But I let you down…all those plans we made for touring and all that work you did on the songs…” Adam clung on, curling his fingers into the tear-damp fabric of Tommy’s Metallica tour tee.

“I always knew there was the possibility your new label would veto us working together. When I didn’t hear back from you after I’d had that letter, I knew it wasn’t going to happen… It hurt like fuck when you didn’t call” A rueful smile curved his lips “but once I’d spoken to Leah I understood why, and how hard you fought for me…”

“You spoke to Leah?” Adam’s eyes widened “but she never…”

“I told her not to say anything to you” Tommy shrugged “I figured you’d call me in your own time…” He prised Adam’s fingers off his shirt and stepped back, delving into his pocket to pull out his wallet. “You have no idea how many times Raja threatened to whip your ass, but I got your mom to talk to her – and she is one very sassy lady! Apparently they came up with the idea of this little reunion together in like five minutes flat! Your dad was super cool too, he got us the _Artist_ VIP passes and sorted out the hotel room. And I never suspected a fucking thing!”

“Mom and dad knew?” Adam’s voice was perilously close to revisiting the parrot-like screech qualities of earlier, as he recalled his mom’s soft inquiries about how Tommy was doing, each time they spoke and his dad’s request for a couple of extra passes for some close friends of his.

“Leila’s awesome. She calls me every week and often comes out for a walk with Etta with me. Her and Ray came and watched me play for Juliette the other week, with Neil and Elisse, and then we all went out for dinner…”

“Neil? My sarcastic snarky brother, Neil?” Adam gawped, realisation hitting home that there was much he didn’t know about his family’s recent activities.

Tommy grinned “we’ve been having the odd drinks and gaming night for a few months; he’s actually pretty fucking badass at _Mario Kart_ now, and he talks a lot of sense” Biting back the snort of laughter at the affronted expression on Adam’s face, Tommy flipped open his wallet as he continued “well, most of the time anyway. He loses me when he starts on fucking politics!”

“But…” Adam floundered, his brain reeling.

“Before we go any further, I don’t want _this_ ” Tommy held out a folded piece of paper.

“But you deserve it” Adam shook his head “You have to take it… _please, Tommy Joe_ ”

“I didn’t earn it…” Tommy looked hurt “I’m not taking charity”

“It’s not…” Adam blinked back fresh tears “I’d _never_ …” his voice wavered and he groped frantically for something to convince Tommy of his honest intentions “It’s a loyalty bonus, you know it’s common practice in the industry - you _all_ got them…”

“You gave Ashley and Rick two thousand each, this is five times that…”

“You were with me from the very beginning and _no-one’s_ been more loyal than you _and_ you did all that work on the songs before… _before_ … _fuck_ ” Adam broke off, not trusting himself to say any more without another meltdown. He frowned. “How did you know what…?”

“I spoke to them - well Ashers called me after she got the same letter, and we met up in between her Filter gigs. She spent her bonus on a sexy new Fender Elite, Jazz five-string black bass she’s called _Lambo_ in your honour. We messaged Rick over lunch together.” He thrust the cheque at Adam again “I can’t take it…it’s too much and you either take it back now or I walk out of this fucking room and we’re done.”

Knowing Tommy’s stubbornness and the very real threat he would leave, Adam tugged the disputed payment from Tommy’s outstretched fingers and shoved it into his pocket. He could argue it later…

“Thank you” Tommy returned his wallet to his pocket. “Now we can get back to what a fuckwit you’ve been…”

Adam’s shoulders sagged despondently “ _I said I’m sor_ …” He didn’t get to finish as Tommy grinned widely and leapt back into his arms, the impact driving the air from Adam’s lungs. Staggering, his balance gone, Adam clung on tightly to his precious armful of tiny blond until they crashed sideways onto the bed.

Sat triumphantly astride his stomach as Adam gurgled for breath, Tommy beamed. “I’ve missed you _so fucking much_ and you haven’t seen Etta in ages; she’s gettin’ so big now…” He tapped Adam on the nose “You’re a very bad co-parent!”

“I saw the pictures you posted and she’s beautiful.” An impromptu moan spilled from Adam’s lips as Tommy settled himself more comfortably across his hips, the slow drag of fabric on flesh stirring all manner of excitement in corpuscle control. His voice hitched “But not as beautiful as you…”

Gazes locked, the air between them sizzled with electricity as Adam arched up and Tommy instinctively ground down against him. As one, they reached for each other, Tommy’s mouth opening at the first lick against his lips, his tongue dancing shyly with Adam’s until both were pressing harder, challenging for dominance, passion building…

As a reunion kiss it was hot and wet, and simply fucking perfect.

Wrapping his ankles around Tommy’s legs, Adam rolled them over, finishing stretched out on top of Tommy’s body, as they lost themselves to sensation. Tearing his mouth from Tommy’s, Adam grabbed Tommy’s hands and pulled them up over his head to press them into the duvet, prompting needy whimpers as he peppered Tommy’s neck with feather light kisses.

Lingering at the juncture of neck and shoulder, Adam licked a damp strip along Tommy’s skin before sucking down hard to leave a deep purple bruise, as Tommy’s body bucked beneath him, the twin sensations of pain and pleasure sending red hot pulses of desire rampaging southwards.

“Fuck, Adam… _fuckfuckfu…”_ Tommy broke off with a moan as Adam huffed hot breath over the freshly marked milky white flesh and all coherent thought fled with his remaining blood supply to throb painfully against the restrictions of his pants.

Adam’s lips, tongue and teeth continued their exploration of Tommy’s neck, pausing briefly to add a matching bruise on the other side, before returning to own Tommy’s mouth, as bodies writhed in hopeful anticipation.

Releasing Tommy’s wrists, Adam trailed his hands down Tommy’s side until he reached the hem of his t-shirt, bunching the fabric into his fingers as he slid it upwards. Pulling back from Tommy’s mouth for a micro-second, the tee was tugged over his head and flung aside. Tommy’s fingers fisted into Adam’s hair as his lips were reclaimed and he was kissed into oblivion, senses soaring as need pressed hard against Adam’s thigh.

Adam’s hands ran hungrily over Tommy’s bare flesh, the touch sending a gazillion goose bumps to roam every inch of his skin, feral want building to burn hot and fiery in his belly. Long, pleasurable minutes later they parted softly, lips barely a millimetre apart as they shared warm breath. Adam stroked Tommy’s cheek, the touch gentle as his other hand moved to the button of Tommy’s jeans.

Tommy froze.

Heart pounding, he shoved Adam off him and scrambled off the bed, running his fingers wildly through his hair as he looked around for his shirt. Once trembling hands had restored his prior clothed status, Tommy stepped towards the door.

Adam slumped on the duvet, panting, as he watched the man he loved prepare to run away from him yet again… _you always gotta push it, Lambert…and now you’ve fucked it up again…maybe for good this time…_

“You coming?” Tommy’s voice cut through his self-derision session.

“Coming?” _I wish…_ Despite his confusion, Adam’s pants tightened as he gazed at Tommy’s deliciously ruffled appearance; pale skin flushed, lips pouting and glistening pink from all their kisses, eyes darkened with desire and hair dishevelled…he looked utterly wanton.

 _I did that…_ Adam’s pride swelled further, stretching the stitching in his pants to its limits.

“I am _not_ making out on your dad’s bed!” Tommy grinned at Adam’s expression; disbelief, confusion and hot desire taking equal turns in the spotlight.

“But…”

“You want more, we need to move to your room…”

“But…”

“Or we can join your family and Sutan for coffee downstairs?” Tommy’s confidence floundered and he looked away, wrapping his arms protectively around his body “or I can go…”

“But…” Adam gulped and kicked his brain back into gear “you didn’t want this… _me_ …” He stood up and took a tentative step closer “when we…last time…”

Tommy closed the gap between them. “I’ve _always_ wanted you, right from the very beginning – I just never had the balls to tell you! You were my boss… _my best friend_ – what if going _there_ fucked all that up? What if you didn’t want me the same way? I couldn’t risk that…couldn’t risk losing what I had, so I settled for friendship…” Tommy bit his lip and drew in a shaky breath before meeting Adam’s gaze as he continued.

“When you didn’t call me, I knew I needed you in my life any way I could, even if I couldn’t play for you…” A rueful smile curved his lips. “Sutan and Raja helped me see if I didn’t stand up for what I wanted, I’d lose you forever and those few months of silence almost fucking killed me. So I asked him to help me get you back… He was supposed to get you to the club on Tuesday!” A half sob, half laugh had Adam reaching to fold Tommy into his arms. “I guess he thought I’d be braver if I was surprised – he sold me on meeting some people who wanted to put on a fashion show for Raja’s Palace! By the time the huge Adam Lambert signs appeared on the road we were almost here and he admitted they’d all fucking set us up.”  

Adam tugged Tommy closer, tucking the mop of blond hair under his chin as they melted against each other. “I thought _I’d lost_ _you_ by selling you out and then I didn’t have the words to tell you, so I thought if we didn’t speak about it then it might all go away and we’d still be friends…” Adam stumbled over his words, his hold tightening as Tommy attempted to wriggle free.

“ _Friends?_ Is that what you want?” Tommy’s disappointment was muffled into Adam’s chest.

“If that’s all you can give me, I’ll take it…”

Tommy took a deep breath and lifted his head to meet Adam’s eyes “and if that’s not what I want?” He looked back down at his feet, voice dropping to a tremulous whisper “what if I want more than friendship…want _all of you…_ ”

A gentle finger under his chin tipped Tommy’s face up to Adam’s as their lips met in the softest of kisses. “You’ve always had all of me, my beautiful Tommy Joe…” _Laying myself bare…_

The world hung suspended as they gazed at each other, Tommy’s face lighting up with a grin radiating happiness with the intensity of a small sun. Pushing out of the warm circle of Adam’s arms, he retrieved his leather jacket from the back of a chair, returning to stop by the door.

Adam watched him, still unsure of their current status, despite the undeniable bounce in Tommy’s steps. “So what does this mean?”

Tommy held out his hand “it means you get to lead me to your lair and unwrap your prize…”

Adam’s remaining blood supply stood to attention at the glittering promise in Tommy’s eyes as he linked their hands together and led them out into the hallway.

“Where to?” Tommy fluttered his eyelashes.

Adam punched the elevator call button “I’m taking you all the way…” The doors pinged closed as he hauled Tommy in for a hard and fast, blistering kiss, pressing him up against the back wall as he plundered Tommy’s mouth.

Moments later they stopped on the top floor, Adam sauntering out grinning as Tommy tottered beside him, mind blown and weak at the knees.

Once over the threshold of his suite Adam scooped Tommy into his arms and carried him to the bedroom, setting him down gently as Tommy arched up invitingly, love radiating from his huge brown eyes.

 _Mine…_ Adam gazed at the man he’d loved for so long, barely daring to believe this was real… _Tommy was here…_ His mind raced ahead; coming home to Tommy’s welcoming arms after a day’s recording, the house warm and full of love…long walks to Runyon Canyon, hand in hand as Etta trotted by their side…long distance phone calls from wherever the promo tour took him…missing the physical comfort but knowing Tommy, their children and Etta loved him unconditionally… _his perfect daydream…_

“Hey, earth to Adam!”

“Huh?” Adam’s cheeks coloured in a rare blush as Tommy raised an eyebrow, his expression one of fond exasperation.

“You gonna fucking unwrap me or what?” Despite the bravado, uncertainty flashed in Tommy’s eyes.

 The bed dipped as Adam sat beside him, reaching a finger to stroke the contours of Tommy’s face; across his forehead, down that perfect nose to trace around his mouth, finally over his chin to trail lightly down his throat. “You really are so fucking beautiful…” Adam’s voice was hushed, the intensity of his stare sending pulses of heat through Tommy’s entire body as Adam’s eyes devoured him.

Reaching out, Tommy’s fingers curled into the fabric of Adam’s tee to pull him closer for a long lingering kiss, tongues swirling pleasurably as each mapped the interior of the other’s mouth.

 “So, _Whataya want from me_ , baby?” Flashes from his nightmares stampeded Adam’s brain and he banished the images to the darkness… _rewriting starts here…_

“Seducing me with your song lyrics? Smooth!” Tommy’s delighted laughter caressed Adam’s ears, prompting another breathless kissing marathon to leave lips tingling and desire buzzing under their skin.

“Gonna give you _Fever_ …” Adam’s arms tightened around Tommy as their eyes locked, heat flaring in endless blue depths reflected in glistening brown pools.

“I’ve only ever with…not… _you’re the first_ …” Tommy tilted his chin determinedly “ _there, I said it_!”

Moving to straddle Tommy’s hips, Adam’s grin widened “then I’m going to be your _original high_ …”

“Going to _pop my_ …” Tommy dissolved into giggles, hilarity morphing into a hoarse moan as Adam ground down against him and want rushed his remaining blood supply rapidly southwards.

“I’ll make you feel so fucking good” Adam smiled softly. “But tell me to stop and I will…we do this at your pace…”

Tommy nodded, heart melting at the mix of passion and tenderness in Adam’s expression.

Sliding back off the bed, Adam removed his boots and then Tommy’s, placing them on the floor under the dresser. He grinned as Tommy’s gaze followed his every movement, nervous anticipation evident in those liquid brown eyes.

Returning to the bed, Adam stretched out beside him, snaking one arm under Tommy’s neck to cuddle him in close.

This was familiar territory and Tommy relaxed, shifting closer into the embrace as they tangled their legs together.

Tipping Tommy’s face towards him, Adam captured his mouth in a gentle kiss, soft brushes of lips growing steadily in intensity until Tommy was a molten mess.

“Close your eyes...” Adam’s voice pitched low and sensual, sending a fresh surge of heat to Tommy’s groin. I’m going to kiss you all over and I want you to just feel...nothing else exists but my hands, my mouth and your pleasure... Now relax...” Adam pressed his lips against Tommy’s, the kiss slow and deep, deliberate sensual sweeps of tongue against tongue shooting delicious sparks of fire through Tommy’s body.

When they came up for air, Tommy’s senses were on hyper-alert, lips parted as he panted softly. Adam shifted slightly to slide one hand down to entwine with Tommy’s, squeezing his fingers briefly before dropping feather-light kisses over his face, starting on his forehead, trailing down over his nose and moving to cover his cheeks and chin, finally returning to those pouting pink lips to kiss him into oblivion.

Adam’s mouth moved from Tommy’s lips to his neck, kissing and nipping the soft skin. Tommy let out a low moan as Adam refreshed the bruise he’d left earlier, sucking hard on the mottled purple mark before soothing it with his tongue.

Moving onwards, Adam’s lips left tiny electric charges wherever they touched Tommy’s aroused and sensitive flesh, arching his neck as Adam paused to lap in the hollow of his throat before kissing and nibbling his way back up the other side of his neck to recapture his lips once more, tongue mapping every contour of Tommy’s mouth.

His breath reduced to a series of tiny gasps, Tommy zoned out as his t-shirt was tugged off and flung aside; his focus solely on the touch of Adam’s hands, the heat of his mouth against his skin…and the world faded away. Trailing lightly over Tommy’s shoulders and down to his chest, Adam’s fingers spread joyously as they ran through the smattering of soft downy hair before seeking out his nipples, teasing them, rolling the rapidly responding nubs of flesh between finger and thumb...

Unintelligible mumbles floated down from above as Adam’s mouth followed his fingers, the sound sending a supercharged surge of desire directly to Adam’s pants and he caught his breath, before resuming the lazy swirl of his tongue around the now hardened nipple, his fingers dancing ever lower with the lightest of touches. Tommy’s fingers dug into the duvet as he lost himself in exquisite pleasure...

Pulling back, Adam gazed at Tommy, his heart racing and blood pounding at the sight of milky white skin against the dark bedding and the way Tommy had come undone at _his_ hands... _his_ mouth... _so fucking beautiful_...as he committed the image to memory...

A needy whimper filtered through his dreamy haze and he smiled as Tommy’s eyes met his, total trust and longing shining from those liquid brown pools... _and something more..._ Adam scrambled back to Tommy’s mouth, crushing their lips together as he poured his feelings into the kiss to leave them riding on a tidal wave of shared emotion... 

Returning, somewhat breathless, to his trail of kisses, Adam moved down Tommy’s stomach, dipping his tongue playfully into his belly button so Tommy arched off the bed, sensation owning his soul. Gentle fingers popped the button on his jeans and a tantalising touch brushed over the straining bulge as Adam tackled the zip before carefully removing the clinging denim from his legs.

Tommy shivered with a mix of apprehension and burning anticipation as Adam’s mouth moved ever lower; hot wet kisses towards his hips leading to another string of tangled curses falling from those perfect pink, kiss swollen lips.

Sliding his fingers just inside the waistband of Tommy’s underwear, Adam paused briefly, glancing up to see Tommy’s eyes closed, hands fisted into the duvet as his body trembled…

Adam’s heart skipped a beat as Tommy’s sheer beauty took his breath away _…mine…_

Curling his fingers around the fabric, Adam peeled away the final barrier to leave Tommy naked. His breath hitched as his slow removal revealed a new, unseen, tattoo on Tommy’s hipbone. Tears welled as he leant in closer over the new ink; his own _Original High_ tour logo they’d designed together, outlined with the lyrics _chasing the original high_ which then spilled musical notes down towards Tommy’s inner thigh.

A sudden sob escaped as he brushed his lips reverently over the freshly inked skin, Tommy’s eyes flying open in concern as he reached for Adam to fold him into a tight hug as Adam’s tears fell freely.

“Ssshh, ‘s okay…” Tommy’s fingers threaded reassuringly through Adam’s hair.

Minutes passed with no words or movement between them, each silent with their own thoughts.

Lifting his head from Tommy’s shoulder, Adam cracked a watery grin. “I’m supposed to be seducing you, not crying like a baby…”

Tommy brushed the tear tracks away with his thumbs “I kinda like the vulnerable sappy side…” he pressed for a soft kiss, licking into Adam’s mouth to explore with mounting possessiveness until they were both breathless. Breaking apart to recharge oxygen supplies, Tommy tugged at Adam’s clothes. “These need to come off…” he met Adam’s gaze with a wicked glint “pun totally fucking intended! Now strip!”

“Bossy little fucker aren’t you!” Adam’s tee flew across the room, his jeans, snug jersey boxers and socks kicked off the side of the bed. Both gasped at the sensation of bare skin to bare skin, as mouths crashed together in a fierce kiss, teeth clashing, passion bruising lips…

Pulling away, Adam shuffled quickly back down Tommy’s body to resume his previous mission. Soft kisses peppered the inked hipbone before he worked his way down Tommy’s leg; warm breath huffing legions of goose bumps into frantic action, interspersed with more kisses, wet licks of tongue and delicious nips of teeth.

Adam’s downward trail reached Tommy’s foot, his tongue now flicking at his toes, then moving to lick in the arch before climbing slowly back up on the inside of his leg...

Tommy’s brain had long since melted with the intensity of sensations rolling thick and fast through his body. If he never experienced another thing in his life, _this_ would sustain him for eternity; the random thought flashing into his head as another lick of that wicked and talented tongue on the inside of his thigh, followed by another nip and soothe that he knew would match the various strategically placed brandings, sent him higher into the cosmos, only to groan as hot breath passed over his straining arousal to repeat the exploration on his other leg...

Time stood still; nothing existed beyond the feel of Adam’s lips on his flesh, the heavy weight of Adam’s own body nudging against his side as Adam knelt over him. He reached for him, only to have his hands batted gently aside, “this is all about you...your pleasure...” as Adam resumed his slow crawl back up the inside of Tommy’s inner thigh...

Tommy’s dazed synapses wondered fleetingly what it would be like; of course, he’d had his share of girl action, but _never_...the minuscule flicker of wonder suddenly eclipsed as Adam’s mouth finally closed over him and he was surrounded in warm, moist heat, a strangled gasp of pleasure escaping from his lips as a hand reached up to entwine with his own as he writhed and trembled under the mind blowing attentions of Adam’s tongue...

Adam hummed as he felt Tommy’s body trembling, knowing the pleasure he was giving was like nothing Tommy had ever experienced before, the vibrations increasing the sensation beyond all earthly description “ _AdamAdamAdam”_ mingled with wanton moans and low guttural strings of babble as Tommy arched under his touch...

Tommy felt his climax building; starting from the soles of his feet and spreading up and out like cracks in ice as delicious tendrils of fire ignited in every cell of his body, nerve endings stretched taut as wave after wave of indescribable pleasure washed over him, and he exploded, his body shaking and bucking as he fell off the precipice to float amongst the stars...

Adam continued to suck until Tommy stopped shuddering, sliding back up his body to capture his lips in a searing kiss, their tongues tangling wildly as Tommy tasted himself for the first time.

A delicious sense of warmth and tingling flooded Tommy’s body as he came down from his orgasmic high to bask in the afterglow and he snuggled into Adam’s embrace as the other man urged them under the duvet and wrapped him into his arms.

“That was...was... _fucking fantastic...no words...I can’t...Adam..!_ ” Tommy gave up on words and pressed a tender kiss to Adam’s lips, one hand threading through his hair as they each lost themselves in the other... Breaking apart, they lay back, content in their closeness. Tommy reached a tentative hand towards Adam’s body...again it was gently pushed aside.

“Later...this was about you, your pleasure, and my pleasure to share with you...” Adam kissed him softly, “and this is just the start...now, rest!” he dropped a light kiss on the end of Tommy’s nose and turned him onto his side, spooning in close behind, one arm curling possessively around his waist to keep him in close as he buried his face in Tommy’s hair and closed his eyes. Tommy pressed back against him, sated and drowsy. Within moments they were asleep.

Adam’s phone, ringing insistently from its captivity in his jeans, woke them an hour later. After letting it ring into answerphone several times, Adam reluctantly released his hold on Tommy’s warm body and groped over the side of the bed to retrieve the demanding tech.

“Sutan…” Adam yawned widely, sliding one arm back under Tommy’s neck to tug him in close.

“We’ve drowned ourselves in coffee down here. Is it safe to come back?”

“Knock yourself out! I’m in bed with my boyfriend…” Adam squeezed Tommy’s shoulder as the tiny blond cuddled closer. He laughed as Sutan relayed the message and his dad’s spluttering carried clearly across the airwaves. “Tell dad, we’re in my suite; Tommy refused to get passionate in his room!”

“Ad, your boyfriend has impeccable standards, for which I am most grateful!” Eber’s amused tones brought a contented grin to Tommy’s face as he rubbed his foot lightly against Adam’s calf. “If you two are comfortable, we’ll go for a stroll around the grounds and then grab a bite to eat. We’ll see you before the show…” he paused “your mother and I are very happy for you both...”

The phone was handed back to Sutan as Eber broke off, emotion evident in his voice. “Raja is so proud of you and she wants _all_ the details later…and I mean _all!”_ The call ended with a chuckle as Sutan rang off. Dropping the phone onto the nightstand, Adam turned his attention back to the man in his arms, kissing him thoroughly as bodies stirred into life.

Long minutes later they surfaced, lips tingling and delicious tendrils of desire tripping through their veins.

Rubbing their noses together, Adam sighed softly. “We need to get up…” he broke off with a groan as Tommy rolled his hips deliberately against Adam’s, hot hard flesh pressing for attention. “No, really, I got a show to do…need to get…”

“And I got six years of catch up to do…all those on-stage boners we never acted on…” Tommy’s throaty whisper against Adam’s ear had his entire blood supply charging south in happy anticipation and all good intentions were lost to a make out marathon leaving the duvet tangled in a heap on the floor as they wrestled for superiority.

Finally, Tommy ended up panting, face down with his nose buried into the one remaining pillow as Adam stretched out on top of him, the heady sensations of Adam’s bare skin pressed head to toe against his own sending him into a fresh frenzy of want.

Adam nuzzled the back of Tommy’s neck, alternating huffs of warm breath and lavishing soft kisses to leave Tommy squirming helplessly in search of friction as he mumbled to himself. Without warning, Adam slid off the bed, grinning at the sudden needy whimpers from the pillow.

Slapping Tommy’s bare ass playfully, he chuckled at the look of frustration on his boyfriend’s face. “Shower with me?” Adam held out his hand, folding his fingers around Tommy’s as he led them to the bathroom.

The shower was turned on to warm as Adam wrapped Tommy into his arms to kiss him to the cosmos, licking into Tommy’s mouth to explore every contour with possessive intent as Tommy’s knees buckled and he clung on tightly.

Coming up for air, Adam tugged Tommy under the steaming spray, swallowing Tommy’s gasp at the new sensation of slick wet skin pressed to slick wet skin, as he recaptured his lips for another endless kiss. Breaking apart many minutes later, Adam surveyed his handiwork; Tommy’s eyes were closed, head arched back and his hair plastered against his skull, lips pouting and sinfully kiss swollen. Adam had never seen anything quite so beautiful and he bit back the sudden sob that threatened to escape at the rush of love accompanying the realisation this was real… _Tommy was here, with him…right now…_

Tommy’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked dazedly. Adam cupped his face with one hand, brushing his thumb lightly over Tommy’s cheek. “You okay, baby?” Concern replaced all other emotions as Tommy bit his lip and shook his head. “What’s wrong? Is it something I did? Wha…”

Tommy’s lips crashing on his effectively silenced Adam’s questions, tongues dueling fiercely as Tommy tangled his fingers into Adam’s hair and Adam’s arms closed ever tighter around Tommy’s tiny body.

Pulling away, somewhat breathless, Tommy buried his face in Adam’s neck “I don’t ever want to wake up…”

“Aww baby, it’s not a dream” Adam tipped Tommy’s face up and dropped a kiss on the end of his nose. “It’s real… _we’re real…”_ Sliding his hands down Tommy’s sides, he cupped his buttocks, grinding their hips together to drag a wanton moan from Tommy’s mouth as he instinctively arched his body closer. “ _That_ is fucking real…”

The kiss was hard, wet, and downright filthy as they writhed in the steam-filled cubicle.

Gasping for air, Adam reached for the Wet lube and squeezed some into Tommy’s hand. “We do this one together…” as he guided Tommy’s hand around the both of them and covered the gap with his own hand. Stroking slowly, they built up a rhythm designed for pleasure rather than release, sharing gentle kisses that increased rapidly as they lost themselves to sensation.

Tommy felt his orgasm building, tiny bursts of fire igniting in every cell and he faltered, eyes widening as Adam’s hand closed tighter and increased the pace. Hitting his climax, Tommy whited out as tidal waves of blissful pleasure spread throughout his body, dimly aware of Adam’s groans of satisfaction as he fell off the precipice to join him and they clung together under the cascading water.   

Claiming his mouth for a soft kiss, Adam smiled “still think it’s a dream?”

Wrapping his arms firmly around Adam’s waist, Tommy snorted “I lost the ability to fucking think anything, you just blew me away”

Nipping Tommy’s ear, Adam chuckled “I think you’ll find that was earlier”

“Whatever, fucker” Tommy rubbed his head against Adam’s chin, powerless to stop the huge happy grin spreading across his face as he tightened his hold… _mine…_

Peeling Tommy’s hands from his waist, Adam slapped his ass “Turn around so I can wash your hair…”

Obediently turning, Tommy revelled in yet more new sensations as Adam first expertly massaged his scalp and then grabbed the shower gel and a scrunchie to wash him from head to toe. A quick wash of his own body and Adam was wrapping Tommy in a huge soft towel before steering him back to the bedroom where they stood, arms entwined, in companionable silence until one of their phones erupted with a volley of message alerts. 

“Mine’s off, that must be yours.”

Reluctantly releasing his hold, Adam checked his phone “It’s the band – they’re going for something to eat…” He tapped a swift reply and dropped it back onto the nightstand, surveying Tommy with a thoughtful expression. Drawing him across to the bed, he tugged his boyfriend to sit down beside him. “What do you want to tell people? Or rather, _who_ do you want to tell? I’ll go with whatever you want to do…”

Tommy paled “I have to tell my mom! And Lisa.” He scrabbled in his jeans for his phone, turned it on and scrolled through his contacts. Moments later he was talking to his sister, conveniently at their mom’s, for a two-for-the-price-of-one shock announcement…which turned out to be shocking only for Tommy! Lisa laughed and said she’d always known her brother was head-over-heels in love with his boss and his mom blew him a kiss, told him to be happy and Adam was a great catch!

Sinking back onto the bed, Tommy stared at his now silent phone. “Did everyone know?”

“Sutan said the same earlier, he said _they_ all knew I loved you and it was high time I fucking did something about it so _you_ knew…”

“Do you?” Tommy looked away shyly.

“I think I’ve loved you from day one when you came for your audition – all wild blond hair, huge doe eyes, wearing those dangerously high creepers and fucking slaying killer Depeche Mode guitar riffs. Then the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you…”

Glancing up through his eyelashes, Tommy met Adam’s gaze “it’s sappy, but you had me at hello – that smile and you smelled so fucking good!” He shook his head “how I didn’t blurt it out a million times on tour, especially after all those fucking stage kisses…”

“So I did give you _Fever!_ ” Adam preened as Tommy shoved him playfully and a minor tussle ensued, culminating in a fresh round of hot, wet kisses as towels hit the floor sparking a riot in corpuscle control as blood supplies fled south.

Once more sat side by side, they rested their heads together as they caught their breath. “Apart from London…” Tommy chuckled “I think I gave _you_ fever for that one!” He sighed softly “that was the night I almost told you, but I wimped out at the last minute…” A minute shrug of those slim shoulders accompanied a louder, wistful sigh “and then we were back home and then you were with Sauli…”

“Sauli always knew I loved you too, he’ll be happy for us, especially now he’s got Niko…”

“Niko?”

“Plays ice hockey at National level. Sau’s forever going on about the size of his…” the pause was significant “… _muscles_!”

Simultaneous bursts of laughter delayed proceedings for several minutes until finally they were up to retrieving scattered clothing and covering their naked flesh.   

“So, back to telling!” Tommy elbowed Adam’s midriff as he wriggled out of his arms. “Your family and our friends, obviously; Leah, and I don’t mind your band, but I want you to myself a bit before we let the fans in on it and I want their focus on your music not your sex life!”

Adam nodded, understanding Tommy’s logic completely as he reached for his phone to call his mom, adding two for dinner…

Content, they headed for the door. “Oh! Wait!” Tommy delved into his jacket pocket to pull out a sleek black bag. “I got this for you…I researched it on-line and Sutan suggested we collect it on our way out here today as we were driving past the designers. I was going to give it to you on Tuesday…” he wrinkled his nose good humouredly “but that was before the scheming little fuckers decided to set us up!”

Opening the bag, Adam tipped out a rectangular jewellery box. “Wow, baby, it’s gorgeous” He lifted the feather pendant on its long silver chain off the satin lining and lowered it over his head to settle warm against his chest.

“According to the Native Americans it symbolises uplifting and energetic spirits, both purifying and cleansing…” Tommy shrugged lightly “…so it kinda wipes the slate clean so we can start again…”

“You did all that for me?”

Tommy grinned “Nah, I just thought it was a cool pendant, but I know you _get_ all that spiritual shit!”

“Brat!” Adam stuck his tongue out before hauling him in for a kiss that melted Tommy’s knees and left him gasping. Steering his breathless boyfriend towards the elevators, Adam grinned at the thought of introducing Tommy to his band… _my boyfriend…_

Good-natured teasing and congratulations abounded as they joined the others in a closed private booth in the Potrero Canyon Buffet, Leila pulling back from her hug to wink at Tommy as she told him _he’d always_ been one of the family so it was nice to finally have it official. Sliding into a chair next to Tommy’s, Adam grinned around happily at his family; even Neil was smiling – until Adam started to tell him how they’d relocated from dad’s bed before too many clothes were removed and… “just shut the fuck up already!” Neil shoved his fingers in his ears “Now I’ll have to scrub my fucking brain out to erase those images…” he turned to Tommy, pleading “can you control your boyfriend before I’m scarred for life?”

Tommy chuckled, leaning closer but speaking loud enough for his voice to carry “Baby Boy, if you don’t keep our sex life quiet, I might have to gag you and you know how much that turns you on…”

Laughter echoed around the table as Neil howled and screwed his face up “ewww, you’re as bad as he is! Fuck!”

The mood was buoyant as they raided the buffet to fill their plates, the discussion turning to the imminent performance and latest album stats. Neil kicked Adam’s foot under the table as Adam fed Tommy with tiny strips of grilled steak, Tommy licking Adam’s fingers clean as they gazed at each other “Oi, get a fucking room or at least answer me!”

Hilarity resonated as Adam replied with a single finger without taking his eyes off Tommy, dropping a light kiss to the end of his nose, before turning to his brother with an exaggerated sigh “Okay, you have my _complete_ attention…”

“ _Thank you_ …oh yeah _, fuck_ , very fucking funny!” Neil snorted indignantly as Adam grabbed Tommy’s shirt and hauled him forwards, crushing their mouths together in a hot, hard fast kiss.

Leaving Tommy gasping, Neil frowning and everyone else laughing, Adam reprised his attentive stance towards his sibling “so, as I was saying…”

Neil’s two-finger retort evened the score in terms of gesture-led banter and conversation resumed in more traditional formats.

“Now the two of you have _finally_ got your heads out of the fucking sand and got it together…” he held his hand up, warning “and don’t you _dare_ give me any of the details! What are you going to tell people? I…we don’t want to say the wrong thing if…” Neil grimaced “you know what the paps are like…”

Adam slid his fingers through Tommy’s “Over to you, baby…”

“Our family, friends, the inner circle – they’ll only have to look at us to know anyway – and Adam’s band and Leah. We’ve decided to keep it from the fans and general public for now” he squeezed Adam’s captive hand “I don’t want anything to distract from the music…” Tommy grinned as spontaneous applause and cheers broke out around the table.

Eber picked up his drink “To love, family and the _Original High_ …”

Glasses clinked as the toast was shared, the booth filled with cheerful voices and merry sounds of cutlery on china as they ate their fill.   

Leaning back, Tommy rubbed his full stomach contentedly “I needed that!” He stretched luxuriously, his t-shirt riding up to expose a glimpse of milky white flesh above low-slung jeans.     

Adam watched him, possessive warmth running through his veins… _mine…_

Shuffling his chair closer, he breathed against Tommy’s ear “You want to come meet the band before I have to get ready? We can grab a coffee down there…”

Nodding, Tommy stood, allowing himself to be folded into a tight hug to immerse his senses in everything _Adam._

“You going to be okay?” Adam stroked Tommy’s cheek softly “If it helps I’ve had three guitarists already” he shrugged “no-one sounds like…”

Looping his arms around Adam’s neck, Tommy pulled his face down for a kiss. “’m cool…let’s do it!”

With promises to catch up with everyone at the after party, they headed out to the allocated band lounge, careful to walk apart as they crossed the lobby to the elevators. Once inside that mirrored box, Adam linked their fingers, squeezing reassuringly as they were whisked down to the lower level.

A cacophony of noise hit them as Adam opened the door; the giant TV screen competing with a games console and the very vocal, full volume, encouragement for Brook and Brad who appeared to be having a press up competition; with Peter yelling a countdown from the stopwatch on his phone as Darwin and John each hollered at one of the combatants.  

Such was the decibel level, no-one noticed them until Brook and Brad collapsed in a heap on the floor, both panting hard after their exertions.    

Shoving the pair with his foot, Peter indicated the new arrivals.

Adam slid his arm around Tommy’s shoulders as he steered them further into the room. “Tommy, meet my band…”

Peter grinned a welcome “you catch us at our best!” he waved towards the two men clambering up from the carpet, hot, sweaty and still gasping for breath. “Peter…keys, MD and mad scientist!” he shook Tommy’s hand warmly “can I just say, I love your arrangements and I’d _really_ like to get some time to work with you; that _Runnin’ Chokehold_ and _Sleepwalker_ mash up is inspired!” He winked at his boss “I hope I’m still around when that makes the setlist…”

“Better be on your best behaviour then!” Adam shoved his music director’s shoulder playfully before turning to introduce the others. “Darwin, my badass bass man; Brook kicks butt on the drums; John is my security and bosses me around big time when he thinks he can get away with it…” he pressed closer against Tommy’s side in unspoken support “…and Brad is my newest band member on guitar…”

Tommy shook hands with each man in turn, a sudden grin lighting his face as Brad leant forward to whisper “the way you kept playing in that encore was fucking rad, dude…way cool!”

Releasing his hand, Tommy snorted in amusement “I was on fucking autopilot, we were seven parts wasted _and_ high and it was all a bit of a blur until we saw the YouTube videos…and they were just…”

“ _So fucking hot_!” Brad fanned himself, laughing helplessly as Adam swept Tommy into his arms, bending him backwards, just like Amsterdam, to kiss him hard. The room erupted into a volley of wolf whistles and cat calls as the door opened and Leah joined them.

“You sorted things out then!” she punched Adam on the arm “and about bloody time too!” Tugging Tommy into a hug, she held him close. “Good to see you and I’m so happy for you both, but now I need to steal him from you for a bit if I can…” Turning to Adam, she wrinkled her nose apologetically “I know you’ve got the radio station interview later, but I’ve just had a call from Lisa Waugh…”

“I remember her, she’s the feisty one from _Rock World?”_

“The very same! She’s not here but her associate Aaron Groves is, apparently sheer coincidence he’s here with his family, and she was hoping you’d spare him a few minutes; she said you knew him from before?”

“That was a good interview…” Adam paused, glancing at Tommy “do you mind? I’ll only give him twenty minutes…”

“Ass! Take as long as you need” Tommy rolled his eyes “I’m going to rework _If I had you_ with Peter, as we never got around to it before… _er…_ ” he faltered momentarily “when we ran out of time…”

“ _Great_ plan! Don’t rush!” Peter slung his arm over Tommy’s shoulders, steering him away immediately as the pair giggled at the affronted expression on Adam’s face.

“But…” Adam pouted.

“Missing you already!” Peter blew him a kiss as Tommy cracked up, already dropping into the chair at the computer desk to log into his files on the cloud.

Leah laughed “I don’t think you need to worry about Tommy feeling uncomfortable or them not getting on!” She offered her elbow “shall we?”

“It’s just…” Adam grinned ruefully “I’ve only just found him again and…”

“You’re almost jealous they’ve gelled so easily because you’re not ready to share him with anyone” Leah finished for him, her eyes reading him perfectly as the different emotions danced across his face – total love, possessive pride and a tinge of envy jostling for position.

The uncharacteristic rush of pink to Adam’s cheeks confirmed her diagnosis and she squeezed his arm reassuringly “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me! Now let’s go impress Aaron for half an hour and you’ll be back with your beautiful boyfriend before you know it.”

The fierce hug took her by surprise, leaving them both a little emotional and neither spoke until they were exiting the elevator on the fourth floor. “What room?”

Checking the message, Leah pointed to the hallway on the left “This way; four seventeen…”

Aaron opened the door, his freckled face, under a shock of untamed sandy hair, lighting up with a welcoming smile. “So good to see you again, Adam, and I can’t thank you enough for making time for me at such short notice. Lisa’s absolutely gutted she’s not here herself!” His grin widened “She’s been a little bit in love with you since your first meeting, and we both know she takes a _lot_ of winning over!”

“I have very fond memories of that interview…she scared the fuck out of me!” Adam chuckled, glancing around the room. “Where do you want us?”

“I was just going to grab another chair from my daughters’ room…” Aaron gestured towards the open connecting door “It’s the twins’ fifteenth birthday today so we’re here for them to have a spa weekend. They’re downstairs somewhere with Jen, having some hot stones massage or something; I don’t know much about that shit…”

“It’s really good, you should try it!” Adam grinned at the look of horror on the other man’s face “it’s great for relieving tension or stress…”

“I’ll take your word for it!” Aaron added a third chair to the two already around the tiny table over by the window. “Will that be okay? I wasn’t prepared for anything so this is all a bit casual…” He propped his phone up against the vase of flowers “Just waiting for the coffee and then we can start. Is there anything off limits or any topic you _want_ us to talk about?”

“Nothing’s ever off limits to _Rock World_ and new album obviously, which is why I’m here at the casino…”

“Cool! Lisa’s given me some questions to start us off and then we’ll see where that takes us, if that’s okay with you…”

“I might plead the fifth if I don’t like any of Lisa’s questions!” Adam laughed “I’m joking…well I _think_ I am!”

“Lisa’s going to be so mad she missed doing this herself…I think she’d…” Aaron broke off as a tap on the door announced room service “ah, coffee’s here.”

Leaving Adam and Leah at the table, Aaron headed across the room. Nudging Adam’s knee, Leah set her phone up to record sound before adding it to the table. “What are you going to say if he asks you about Tommy?”

“The truth as far as playing for me goes, the rest is our private life…”

Nodding, Leah squeezed his hand “I’m so pleased you managed to sort it out with him” she chuckled at the dreamy expression on his face as Adam pictured his boyfriend. “You might want to get rid of the lovehearts in your eyes or Aaron’s going to pounce on them, and you know how tenacious he is when he’s chasing an exclusive!”

“Pinch me hard, quick, before he gets back!” Adam’s peal of laughter blended seamlessly with the groan of pain as Leah took him at his word and delivered a wicked pinch and twist to his side.

Plonking the tray of coffee on the table, Aaron dropped back into his chair “ok, so where were we?”

“You were going to terrorise me with Lisa’s questions…” Adam took a mouthful of his coffee and settled himself in his chair “go for it!”

Pressing record on their respective phones, Leah and Aaron grinned at each other. “So, Adam, a lot of changes in your life since you last spoke with _Rock World…_ new record label, new album, new music sound, new band…a whole lot of _new…_ ”

Talking with that candid openness that endeared him to so many interviewers, Adam opened up about the different events with refreshing honesty, including an exclusive insight to the new band setup, and the thirty minutes flew by. Glancing at his watch with evident regret, Aaron used his final minutes to tease out details of the possible singles from the album and some behind-the-scenes secrets from the promotional tour, concluding with heartfelt thanks for Adam’s time.

Shaking hands warmly, they left a beaming Aaron as they headed back to the band.

“Nicely done!” Leah nodded approval as the elevator doors pinged closed. “You told them what they wanted to know without compromising your privacy and now he won’t be surprised to see Tommy later. I’ll get those VIP passes sent up to his room as soon as we’ve rounded up the troops here.

Opening the door to the band lounge, they walked into a full-on reggae party.

The guys had raided the closet in the corner to drag out a couple of battered acoustic guitars for Brad and Tommy; Darwin strutted with an equally well-used bass and Brook worked what looked like a set of old bongo drums. Peter completed the unusual line up with the virtual keyboard from Guitar Hero on the games console, as they jammed out to the Bob Marley classic _Is this love_.

Mouths open, Leah and Adam gaped as John floored it on vocals.

Head tossing, huge grins on their faces, the band took it to the end before seamlessly switching into a jaw-dropping reggae version of _If I had you._

Leah burst into giggles at the sight of Adam imitating a goldfish. “Go!” She gave him an encouraging shove towards the others.

John high fived him before passing on the makeshift pretend mic, which Adam recognised instantly as Darwin’s sunglasses case, as they led into the second verse. His time as lead singer over, John hopped across to join Leah on the couch to watch the rest of the impromptu performance.

Several extra riffs and replays of the chorus later and they wound it up with the trademark impossibly high note from Adam, before lining up to take a bow and collapsing in fits of laughter, all talking at the same time.

Adam dropped on to the sofa “all these weeks driving me around with Mattie, you never told me you could sing!”

 John threw his head back in amusement “It’s that Welsh heritage and I’m more your karaoke belter than singer, but it’s fun. I do my best work in the shower!” he laughed “you should hear my rendition of Tom Jones’ _Delilah…_ ”

“If that ever goes in the setlist I’ll make sure we duet” Adam swayed, hands in the air “ready? My, my, my Delilah…” he stopped abruptly as John applauded “that’s all I know!” He shook his head in mock sorrow as the others joined them after stowing their borrowed instruments back in the closet.

“ _This guy_ is a genius!” Peter perched on the arm of the couch as Adam tugged Tommy onto his lap to fold him into a hug. “We did that to that song in like twenty minutes!”

Adam buried his face in Tommy’s neck, breathing him in. “I know” his arms tightened around Tommy’s waist as his lips brushed Tommy’s ear “missed you…” the whisper soft against his skin.

Tommy grinned, sinking into the warmth of Adam’s body. “We had a wild time while you were being grilled…” he pulled back to look into Adam’s eyes “was it as intense as last time?” Cupping Adam’s face he rubbed their noses together before dropping a light kiss to his lips as the band made loud awws and kissy noises.

“He asked about you and I told him the truth as far as playing for me goes, then when he pressed for more and if we were still in touch, I said you can ask him yourself later, he’s downstairs with my family and another close friend. That seemed to satisfy him, so, as long as we don’t go too crazy tonight, we’ll be fine.”

Adam looked around at the others as Tommy nodded understanding. “Tommy and I are happy for you guys to know but we want the attention on the music and not my private life…”

“We totally got it, bossman!” Peter punched Adam lightly on the shoulder “and whilst we’re on about the music, did you see the other mash up he dropped in my lap earlier? It’s so fucking good - we just have to play it for you next rehearsal.”

Adam raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend “new mix? One I haven’t heard?”

“I hadn’t finished it when we went…when you were sorting your contract and promo stuff out with the label…” Tommy shrugged, feigning nonchalance “when I needed to be near you I turned to your music…”

Adam’s hold tightened instinctively around the man in his arms, voice dropping to a whisper “which ones did you…”

“ _Lay me down, Shady_ and _**Fever**_ …they just fit so well and…” his words were lost as Adam kissed him slow and deep, pouring the emotion into the kiss as the band looked on, grinning.

Tommy gazed around, cheeks flushed pink and eyes glazed “And he hasn’t even fucking heard it yet!”

Hilarity echoed as Leah shook her head fondly and stood up. “Playtime’s over guys, we got a show to put on!”

With good grace, they straightened the room and headed out to get changed for the performance, arranging to meet in the lower lobby in forty-five minutes, after Adam’s radio interview.  

Handing Tommy his room key Adam blew them all kisses, before following Leah towards the waiting elevator.

Cramming into the next elevator with the band, Tommy bid them a noisy farewell as they bundled out on their floor, continuing up to the top floor where he flopped contentedly onto the bed and stretched luxuriously, as his head rolled a slow motion replay of the events of the day.

Digging his phone from his pocket, he called Sutan. Time to update his life partner…

They were still talking when Adam returned to the suite twenty minutes later. Opening the door Tommy pointed at his phone “Sutan…”

Wrapping Tommy into his arms, Adam scooped the tech from Tommy’s hand and shared the amended plans for the rest of the evening. “I’ve got time for a quick change and then I’ve got a meet and greet with some radio station competition winners before the show. I’ve also given Aaron from _Rock World,_ and his family, VIP passes so it’d be good if you and mom and dad and everyone are around as well, so Tommy and I don’t give ourselves away. I told Aaron he could bring his camera so he can get some pictures for the magazine. It’s his twins’ birthdays today so I thought we’d surprise them. Leah’s arranging a cake so we can do the whole thing properly. The band’ll go on ahead and I’ll catch up with them in the green room backstage.”

He listened as Sutan passed the news onto the others, grinning at the sarcastic responses from his little brother, unimpressed by yet more changes to his schedule – Neil liked to be organised and last minute changes always pissed him off wholesale. “Give him the usual!” Adam sniggered as the single finger retort provoked laughter across the airwaves. “Okay, I gotta get changed. See you guys downstairs; it’s lower ground floor, Blue Cabin LG1.”

With the phone now silent, Adam turned his attention to the man in his arms, tipping Tommy’s chin up to kiss him softly, tiny open-mouthed brushes of lips that grew steadily in intensity until both were breathless.

Adam pressed a final kiss to Tommy’s forehead, reluctance evident, before releasing him and heading towards the bedroom “You want to help me get changed?”

Tommy shook his head.

“I thought I could go and get my stuff from mine and Sutan’s room…” he bit his lip, meeting Adam’s questioning gaze shyly “…so I can stay here with you, if that’s…”

Tommy gasped as the air was squashed from his lungs by the sudden hug and Adam peppered his face with tiny kisses, each punctuated with a whispered _yes yes yes yes_ ”

For a moment the world hung suspended – it was just them; right here, right now…

Squeezing Adam’s waist, Tommy sighed softly, bringing them back to the present.

“I know…I have to get ready…” Releasing his hold, Adam ran his fingers down Tommy’s arm, folding his hand around Tommy’s, delaying the moment of departure.

“I’ll be ten minutes!” Tommy laughed, peeling Adam’s fingers off his captive digits one by one. He pressed a swift kiss to Adam’s palm and scampered away before Adam’s playful swat could land on his ass.

Adam huffed happily as the door closed behind Tommy’s giggles.

Gazing momentarily at the space where his boyfriend had been, he strode into the bedroom and changed into his interim outfit for the night; textured, snug-fitting black pants, black and silver print designer shirt and black heeled boots. Meet and Greet photographs needed something simple, yet stylish, able to fit with anything the fans might be wearing.

His stage clothes would be waiting in his dressing room backstage. A grin of anticipation lit his face as he pictured the audience reaction to his first outfit…

Tonight was going to be an awesome gig…

True to his word, Tommy was tapping on the door in just under ten minutes, dumping his overnight bag on the floor as he threw himself into Adam’s arms for a passionate kissing marathon, excitable tongues tangling before exploring each other’s mouths with wild abandon, to leave them with pounding hearts and pants straining at their seams.

With Tommy once more wrapped in his arms, blond head tucked under Adam’s chin as they leant into each other, a serene silence fell, broken by Adam’s phone beeping loudly mere moments later.

Tugging the tech from his pocket without releasing his hold, Adam read the message. “Okay, Aaron and his wife and kids have arrived so we have to go.”

Linking their hands briefly, they made for the door, standing close in the elevator with fingers just touching, as they prepared for the evening’s performance.

As the doors pinged open on the lower ground floor Adam leant in, lips brushing Tommy’s ear to send goose bumps chasing over his skin “If you get tempted to do something that might give us away, go ask Leah to pinch you and I fucking guarantee you’ll be dissuaded instantly! She’s got a mean twist with those pretty little painted talons!”

A happy smile on his face, Adam led the way back to the band lounge. Tugging on Tommy’s hair as they stopped outside the door, Adam winked at his boyfriend and went in alone, leaving Tommy to wait for Sutan and the family who were on their way down.

Gazing around, Adam nodded approvingly. Gone was the universal band lounge look; it had been transformed with lights, a hostess bar along one side and a 104.3MY FM ‘presents ADAM LAMBERT photo backdrop - with a camera set up on a tripod – stretched across the corner by the closet ready for the contest winners. Aaron and his family sat on the sofa watching proceedings with interest.

Grabbing a bottle of water from the bar, Adam joined Leah who was talking to Melanie, the hotel event co-ordinator, and the familiar, imposing figure of the radio liaison from their earlier interview, as they ran through the scheduling for the Meet and Greet winners.

“Adam, perfect timing! Niall has the winners arriving at seven thirty, they’ll be briefed outside and then we’ll have them in for their pictures and they’ll have the chance to mingle for a short time before we take them out to the stage in the bus. There’s plenty of room for your family and Aaron’s…”

“I know it’s not far, but time will be tight, and we need to get them into their respective areas before lights down. Niall’s got some pre-show chat and freebies to give away as well” Melanie checked her watch “which leaves us about fifteen minutes now to surprise the birthday girls…”

As Leah and Mel headed over to the bar to get the cake and confetti poppers, Adam strolled across towards Aaron, pausing as the door opened and Tommy, Sutan and Adam’s family bounced in.

Multiple hugs ensued, finishing with one arm around each of Tommy and Sutan’s shoulders as Adam finally made it to Aaron. Swift introductions followed to Aaron’s wife, Jen, and daughters, Amelia and Bekki, just as the cake and streamers arrived and everyone burst into an enthusiastic chorus of _Happy Birthday_. The twins were overcome, embarrassed and excited all at once, giggling as Adam posed for a picture with them.

Leaving everyone talking, Adam ruffled Tommy’s hair as he walked past and joined the photographer as the competition winners filed in after their briefing. Meet and greets were always tight for time with so many to get through and each person got maybe a minute at most to spend with him, but Adam always gave everything to make that one minute as memorable as possible. Turning his attention towards the first of this gig’s line, he watched her face light up, eyes widen and fill with tears as she walked towards him.

“Hi honey, how’re you?”

She stared into his eyes, captivated, the hushed “you’re stunning!” bringing a soft smile to his lips.

“Aww, thanks” He reached out to pull her in close ready for the picture. “Hey I love your top!” he pointed to the guitar in the design “that’s really cool!”

With her arm wound around his waist, both smiled for the camera and the moment was captured. Squeezing her shoulder gently before releasing her, he winked. “Thanks for coming and enjoy the show.”

Her happy face and whispered “thank you” completed the interaction and he watched her skip away, her _moment_ well and truly memorable.

He fucking loved his fans…

Nineteen more memorable moments later – with fans old and young, male and female and from all walks of life; he was so proud of the diversity his music brought together – he was done, and after a hug and a selfie with Dionne, the photographer, he returned to his family. His parents were talking to Aaron’s wife; Neil and Elisse were at the bar and laughing with one of the staff as Neil entertained with one of his political stories, and Sutan was discussing make up with the twins, elaborate gestures and elegant hand waving illustrating his points as the art of eyeshadow blending took centre stage. Tommy was on the far side of the group, chatting to Aaron, and Adam wove his way through the assembled throng, sharing words and smiles with those he passed, until he reached his target.

“You found him then!” Sliding his arms around Tommy’s waist from behind and resting his chin on top of that mop of blond hair, Adam resisted the sigh of contentment threatening to escape, settling instead for a tightening of his arms and a crooked grin at the _Rock World_ demon interviewer.

“We’ve been talking about Tommy’s latest project…”

Tommy nodded, bumping Adam’s chin in his enthusiasm “that AdWorld portfolio I told you about last month…”

With no clue as to the nature of said project, Adam went with the flow and hoped for the best “Yes, exciting times, for sure. Plus, he still finds time to jam with me and the band which is always fun, right Tommy Joe?”

“Hell, yeah!” The warmth in Tommy’s voice set flutters in Adam’s tummy and he released his hold quickly before Aaron caught the sappy look in his eyes. Turning, he nodded at Mel; time to head to the stage.

“We have to move now.” He glanced at Tommy, exaggerating the casual tone “you going to come backstage with me today?”

Tommy shrugged “yeah, can do!” He turned back to Aaron “great talking to you, see you at the after party?”

“Definitely!” Aaron grinned and took off to gather his family as Mel began shepherding the competition winners towards the door.

As Adam said farewell to his parents and swapped good-natured insults with his sibling, Tommy leant against the sofa and gazed dreamily at the man he adored, mind drifting to imagine their future; one where music, love and laughter filled their home…Etta and the children playing in the back yard…

Adam would be a fucking amazing dad…

A slap to his ass made him jump and he left his daydream at speed, blinking expressively at his life partner. “Nice dreams, Vayvee?” Sutan added a kick to his ankles. “Lose the love-struck teen face unless you want the world to know!”

“I still can’t believe he’s mine…”

“Honey, he’s been yours since the day he first laid eyes on you!” Sutan’s eyes twinkled wickedly “and maybe now you can finally get laid by the rest of him - like the pair of you should’ve been doing for way too fucking long!” He fixed Tommy with a searching look “unless of course, he’s already started on the laying…” An elegant eyebrow arched as heat rushed Tommy’s cheeks, prompting a low whispered directive “and you _will_ tell Raja _all_ the details…”

“Sutan, we’re ready to go…” Eber’s shout from the doorway drew matching grins.

“Saved by the bus!” Tommy chuckled “catch up after the show” He cuddled into his friend’s arms, the quiet “Raja and I are so very happy for you both, boo…” drawing a tiny contented sigh before Tommy wriggled free and gave Sutan a playful shove towards the door. “Get the fuck outta here gurl!” 

Laughter resonated as Sutan and Eber disappeared from sight.

Mindful of the hotel staff continuing their preparations for the after party, Tommy resisted the urge to charge across the room and throw himself into Adam’s arms to kiss him to the cosmos, settling instead for a saunter across to join him by the door “are you ready to light up the stage?”

“More than you could ever know, baby! Haha…”

“Huh?” Adam’s sudden burst of hilarity was lost on Tommy, his confusion only serving to make Adam laugh harder as he clutched at his sides.

Bemused, but caught by the infectious sight of his boyfriend doubled over, Tommy found himself laughing at Adam’s helpless giggles.

Moments later Leah returned. “All set?” Rolling her eyes, she steered her pair of hyenas towards the end of the hallway and the waiting guest cart.

One short cart ride later, they arrived backstage “Break a leg! See you after the show.” Leah headed out to the stage and on to the VIP area.

After a shouted hello to the band as they passed the green room, Adam led the way to his dressing room. The second they were over the threshold, the door closed as Tommy’s body backed up hard against it, Adam’s mouth on his as tongues tangled and hands raked freely over clothing before sliding underneath to reach warm flesh below. Adam nudged Tommy’s legs apart, pressing between them, desire digging hot and throbbing into Tommy’s thigh as they writhed against each other.

Long blissful minutes later, they broke apart, lips tingling, Tommy’s head resting in the crook of Adam’s shoulder.

“Been desperate to do that since I got back from my radio interview…” Adam’s hoarse growl against Tommy’s ear sent fresh waves of heat surging south and he clung on tighter, fingers fisted into the fabric of Adam’s shirt. Running his hands down Tommy’s side, Adam slid them around to cup his boyfriend’s non-existent ass and squeezed firmly “I’m going to love you so completely tonight you won’t even know your own name…”

Tommy’s low moan almost had Adam coming in his pants and it was only sheer force of will that stopped him from ripping Tommy’s clothes off to give him a taste of the loving to come _pun totally fucking intended…_

Instead, he contented himself with a slow, filthy grind of his hips against Tommy’s, the delicious drag of friction prompting needy whimpers from between twin sets of softly parted, pink, kiss-swollen lips, before he stepped away abruptly.

Tommy gazed at him with lust blown eyes. “I fucking love you”

“I know” Adam smiled softly “and I promise to take you to _Nirvana…_ ”

“We’re still with the song lyrics seduction? I can work with that…” Straightening his t-shirt, Tommy pushed off the door and shook his ass “wait till you get a load o’ me…” Dodging Adam’s outstretched hand, he darted out of reach and shook his butt again, giggling as Adam gave chase in the tiny space.

With his boyfriend once again captive, this time pressed against the wall between the dresser and the hanging rail with his stage outfits on, Adam kissed him thoroughly, owning his mouth until Tommy was a molten mess of blond cuteness.

Releasing Tommy’s hands from above his head, Adam pressed a brief kiss to each of his knuckles “Wanna help me get dressed?”

Weak kneed and buzzing all over from the intensity of Adam’s kisses, Tommy was temporarily without the power of coherent speech, nodding his acquiescence as Adam kicked off his boots and wriggled out of his pants.

“The white ones…” Adam translated Tommy’s feeble gurgle and pointing finger as his boyfriend side-stepped to the rack to gather the required items.

Handing over the pants and clutching the jacket and strangely lumpy top, Tommy’s attention was diverted from investigating the unusual decoration by the sight of Adam slithering into the butt-hugging, white ripped jeans, the process completed with added hip rolls and suggestive thrusts, purely for Tommy’s viewing enjoyment.

Tommy stared, mouth open, as Adam carefully zipped up, before embarking on a slow, seductive unbuttoning of his shirt, fingers spread over his chest as each new inch of flesh was revealed.

Finally shrugging out of the shirt, Adam draped it over the back of the chair and held out his hand for the stage top. As Tommy continued to gape without moving, Adam chuckled and stepped closer, reducing the gap so Tommy could feel the heat of his body without them actually touching.

Stretching his neck forward, Adam blew warm air softly over Tommy’s face, before using a single finger to tip his chin up _just like all those times on the GNT stage…so many Fever kisses…_ “I need my top, baby.”

The whisper, breathed in Adam’s pure sex voice against his lips, sent Tommy’s senses into freefall. He gulped, overwhelmed with everything that was _Adam,_ letting out a tiny needy whimper as his fingers instinctively tightened their grip on the fabric in his hands.

Adam paused a moment to imprint the adorable image of his boyfriend into his memory before capturing his mouth for a brief but tender kiss.

The disputed top was tugged from Tommy’s grasp as Adam restored the distance between them. The top was pulled over his head and his feather pendant resettled on the outside, before Tommy had recovered enough to blink dazedly and shake his head, tossing his hair off his face so it was Adam’s turn to stare as Tommy arched his neck, exposing his throat in a way that had Adam aching to cover it with kisses.

Their eyes met and for a second there was nothing in the universe but them; hearts laid bare, souls connected…

A tap on the door made them jump “ten minutes, Mr Lambert…”

“Thank you!” Adam managed a throaty reply and the footsteps receded.

Looking back at Tommy, the pair of them burst into giggles “okay, time to get this show on the road.

“You finish getting your ass ready” Tommy winked suggestively as he moved away, relinquishing the jacket into Adam’s outstretched hands “and I’ll make your tea.” He indicated the kettle and box of Adam’s preferred brand of _Throatcoat_ on the dresser, alongside the other usual rider items on Adam’s list: bottles of water, Manuka honey, small black guest towels, assorted fruits, a Diptique Bales candle, a bottle of Grey Goose and another of Anejo Patron. “I’m assuming you’re still doing the tequila before the encore?”

“You know me so well!” Adam grinned and turned his top up, examining the simple press button contraption on the left hand seam. “What do you think?”

He pressed the button.

“Haha, you really are _The Light_!” Tommy tore the wrapper off the teabags and dropped one into a mug “I fucking love it!” Scratching a match, he lit the candle and its tranquil scent drifted through the air.

Warmth flooding his veins, Adam turned his lights off with another click of the button, and shoved his feet into his favourite sparkly Louboutins boots, completing the look with the soft, white leather jacket. Dropping into the easy chair on the far side of the room, he closed his eyes and started his pre-show deep breathing routine.

Tea brewed and a generous spoon of the Manuka honey stirred into the fragrant beverage, Tommy paused a moment to gaze at the man he loved with every atom of his being, a fact hammered well and truly home by the recent enforced break in their relationship. Biting his lip, he blinked away the unexpected tears rapidly, and picked up the mug.

A few silent steps took him to Adam’s side, where he resumed his gazing, close up, mapping every gorgeous freckle on his boyfriend’s face.

“You know it’s rude to stare!”

Tommy jumped, slopping tea over his hand, as Adam opened one eye. Heat rushed Tommy’s cheeks and he banished all delicious thoughts of playing freckle dot-to-dot with his tongue on Adam’s toned thighs…

Reaching to extract the mug from Tommy’s hand, Adam landed it safely on the low table before tugging his boyfriend onto his lap to hold him tight as he buried his face in Tommy’s neck. “You have no fucking idea what it does to me when you blush like that…” breathing the words hot against his skin.

Tommy snickered, a wicked grin spreading on his face as he wriggled deliberately, prompting a wanton moan as Adam’s body reacted instantly to the tantalising friction.

Drawing a ragged breath in, Adam pushed his giggling boyfriend off his lap “You’re a devil child, Tommy Joe Ratliff, and you won’t be laughing later, when I’ve got you bent over my knee and I’m spanking that non-existent ass of yours…” Adam broke off with another groan as his head filled with images of Tommy’s milky white flesh smarting red and hot from being slapped by his hand. _Fuck, he was going to explode in his pants if he kept this up. And yet more fucking puns…_

He stood abruptly, adjusting his pants with one hand as he lunged for Tommy with the other, curling his fingers possessively into the fabric of Tommy’s t-shirt to haul him in close.

Tommy blinked innocently, fluttering his eyelashes. “Something _up_ , Babyboy?” Arching his hips forward, both gasped, heat flaring simultaneously in both sparkling blue and liquid brown eyes.

For a moment neither moved, letting the buzz of desire thrum under their skin as each held the other’s gaze.

Brushing his lips lightly against Tommy’s, Adam released the death grip he had on Tommy’s tee. “Love you, my Tommy Joe”

“I know…” A contented smile curving the corners of his mouth, Tommy stepped away and moved back over to the clothes rack to pick up the white Stetson, the finishing touch to Adam’s outfit.

Taking several mouthfuls of tea, Adam hummed and ran through a few riffs, interspersed with deep breaths and some stretches.

Tommy watched from by the door, recognising the familiar pattern of Adam switching to show mode.

In the past they’d shared the whole psyching-it-up routine for that incredible sensation of the first note played or sung…

_I wish I was out there playing tonight…fuck…_

He quashed the pangs of regret-tinged-with-envy as soon as they appeared _some things are meant to be… **he’s worth the price a hundred fucking times over…**_

Straightening up from his leg stretches, Adam picked up his mug and joined Tommy at the door “You okay, baby?”

The gentle tone told Tommy Adam understood _exactly_ what was going on inside his skull, and his heart swelled with love. He nodded quickly “’m fine…”

 “Y’know, I’m gonna have to find another song on my setlist to dedicate to you…” Adam pressed a kiss to Tommy’s forehead “In my head I’ve been singing _Another Lonely Night_ for you” he sighed into Tommy’s hair “because that’s how I felt without you…”

Tommy slid his arms around Adam’s waist and hugged tightly, releasing his hold almost immediately. “What about _Wicked Game?_ I saw that’s on the set tonight.”

A rare tinge of pink highlighting his cheeks, as images of jerking off in the shower to thoughts of Tommy, during their time apart, as the Chris Isaak track played to its sultry climax, Adam stifled a moan. “Yeah, that’ll do for now, until we get another one.” With supreme self-control, he willed blood supplies back to their assigned routes and his pants relaxed their iron grip on his junk. Taking another gulp of his tea, he reached for the door handle “we ready?”

Stretching up to set the Stetson on Adam’s head and then retake control of the tea mug, Tommy grinned “Time to go get ‘em wet!” quoting their old battle cry with a wink and a swat at Adam’s ass as he moved out into the hallway.

The roar of greeting from the band as they appeared in the doorway of the green room set the adrenaline running and Adam high-fived each in turn as they bounced past him to head out to the stage. Peter was last, grinning as he handed over a printed copy of the setlist. “Ready bossman?”

Adam looked from Peter to Tommy “really, with no rehearsal?”

“Live it wild!” Peter laughed and took off after the others.

“Then we’ll fucking reggae their pants off!” He rescued the remainder of his tea from Tommy’s hand as his boyfriend air-guitared the opening chords and strutted away towards the stage.

Grinning, Adam followed. _Tonight was gonna fucking rock…_

The band were making their way to their places in the shadows on the main stage as Niall finished his quick-fire Adam quiz-time, throwing promotional t-shirts out into the audience as they hollered the answers en masse. Thanking them for their enthusiasm and support for The Trevor Project, the organisation benefitting from this evening’s performance, Niall moved off the stage and joined Leah in the VIP area.

The crowd excitement rose as they spied the band ready, volume spiking as Adam bumped knuckles with Tommy in the wings and strode across to the mic. As the quiet, haunting chords of _Outlaws of Love_ began, the audience became still, as if collectively holding their breath.

Adam’s voice rang out; pure and clear, and laden with emotion, setting the hairs on the back of Tommy’s neck standing up as he sang into Tommy’s soul.

_They branded us enough, outlaws of love…_

The crowd screamed as the intro segued seamlessly into _Ghost Town_ and the stage was bathed in a soft blue light.

Dragging his eyes off his boyfriend, Tommy looked across at Brad and his fingers tingled, unconsciously playing the notes in his head. Any hint of wistfulness was crushed as they hit the chorus and the stage plunged briefly into darkness, Adam’s light display on his chest bringing ever louder yells and screams from the delighted fans.

As Adam let loose with his dance moves, immersing himself in the performance, Tommy watched with a mix of possessive pride and awe… _mine…all fucking mine…_

Moving around the stage, Adam slayed the vocals and, for the first time, Tommy noticed the mic was corded, long white cabling Adam coiled to resemble a lasso and tie in cleverly with the theme of an abandoned Old West town.

As a set opener, it was a huge fucking win and the audience screamed fit to raise the roof – if there’d been one.

Moving back to centre, Adam let the noise levels subside before slowing the tempo with a heartfelt delivery of _Underground._

As Brad changed out his guitar, Adam took the opportunity to lose the hat and grab a mouthful of water, fluffing his hair up as he returned to the mic stand for the opening bars of _Another Lonely Night._ Throwing himself into the song, he couldn’t help glancing across at Tommy as the _moo_ heralded the start of the chorus.

Tommy was swaying to the beat, his eyes closed and his fingers unconsciously picking the notes, totally oblivious to Adam’s gaze.

Momentarily distracted, Adam realised he was singing the wrong line and hastily dragged himself back to the moment, covering his slip without anyone else noticing. As the song played to its end, he added a few riffs and relaxed, buoyed by the evident crowd enjoyment and the waves of love and energy flowing from them.

Time to greet his loving fans… _his beautiful and passionate Glamberts…_

“How you guys doin’?” He dragged the mic stand forward as he clipped the mic back into it “Are you enjoying the rain out there?” suddenly noticing a few umbrellas and many plastic ponchos amongst his audience. He peered out at the skyline “Isn’t this the desert? Aren’t…isn’t it…but the… _what the fuck_ , it’s raining? I don’t get it!”

The crowd roared, laughter and cheers as they applauded enthusiastically, standing out in the wet to see him… _to see him and support this new album…_

In danger of an emotional outburst, Adam looked over at Tommy and their eyes met, love blazing across the short distance between them. Grounded once more, Adam grinned “Well, I got a little bit of a surprise for you with this next song – it’s a cover…so let’s hit that beat and see if you guys can figure out what I’m singing.”

As Brad hit the distinctive guitar intro, Adam grabbed another mouthful of water and took a deep breath before sinking into the sultry and evocative lyrics of the Chris Isaak classic, lamenting romantic obsession and anguish… _this is for Tommy…_

After the initial screams of recognition from the audience, they fell silent…spellbound by the captivating performance as Adam gave himself completely to the song… _I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you…and I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you…_  

The roars of approval hit the stratosphere as the final note died away, lighting a huge grin on Adam’s face. “So, this album, The Original High…” screams and cheers echoed into the night sky “yeah, this album, definitely about _some games_ being played…” the playful chuckle died on his lips as he prepared to get serious “Sometimes, you just gotta stand your ground and speak your mind…”

Multiple cries of “I love you Adam” rang out, fading as the opening chords of _There I Said It_ sent a hush across the show ground and an air of expectant energy shimmered. Feeding off that energy, Adam gave his all, an impassioned and heart wrenching performance, dropping the mic to the floor at the end as he walked off stage.

The applause was deafening, following Adam backstage as he hurried to his dressing room, where he knew Tommy was waiting to help him change outfits.

Bursting through the door, he was by Tommy’s side in two strides, folding his precious boyfriend into his arms as he crushed their mouths together in a hard and fast, passionate kiss.

Releasing him, Adam began stripping his clothes off, draping them in an untidy heap over the back of the chair. Tommy handed over zip-knee leather pants, white-with-grey-geometric-design vest, sleeveless leather jacket and Adam’s trademark black fingerless gloves.

“Sit! Drink!” Tommy pushed him down onto the chair and handed over the fresh mug of tea. “Now keep still!” Peeling the sticky back off the temporary tattoo, Tommy applied the glittery design to Adam’s bare upper arm, pressing it firmly onto his skin with long smoothing movements.  

With the second, smaller one, also applied, Tommy pronounced him good to go, reclaiming the mug of tea as Adam tugged playfully on Tommy’s hair.

“Get the fuck back out there, brat!” Tommy snickered and jumped back out of reach as Adam lunged for his ass. Pouting, Adam stuck his tongue out. Tommy waggled his hips “Haha, cute! Now go wow your audience!”

Blowing him a kiss, Adam scampered out, laughter floating back as he vanished down the hallway.

Tommy stared at the empty doorway, grinned sappily and hurriedly replaced the white garments back on hangers before heading back to the side of the stage to watch the rest of the performance.

Adam had rejoined his band, bending down to retrieve his mic from the floor as he acknowledged the cheers from the crowd at his return. “Well, I had to have a costume change, you guys, c’mon!”

Nodding at Peter, they switched it up from the extended intro they’d been playing, sliding into the seductive _After Hours_ as Adam prowled the stage oozing sex appeal. The last note hung enticingly in the air as Adam surveyed the sea of happy faces in front of him “It’s time to get late night with me, alright…” he arched an eyebrow suggestively “I put on leather…”

The yells and whistles blended into the opening bars of _The Original High,_ rising in volume as he hit the top notes with his trademark vocal acrobatics… _I fucking love my Glamberts and their positive energy…_

Catching his breath at the end of the song, he took a swig of his water. “You guys having fun? Yeah?” Their screams split the night and he grinned happily “Oh my God, Glamberts, can I tell you something? I got that song title, album title, tattooed on my chest… He moved to the edge of the stage, bouncing on his toes “I really believe in this album, goddammit!”

The cheers passed the stratosphere and headed on out into space.

“Yeah, it’s really close to my heart” The screams increased in volume. Warmth and gratitude buzzing through his veins, Adam swallowed the emotional sob threatening to escape and took a breath “Thank you guys, for all your support these last few months… _Ghost Town_ is on the radio, the album’s pumping in your cars…in the clubs… Anyone listen at the gym? Right?” Moving back towards the centre stage he caught Tommy’s eye and grinned “It’s great after a couple of drinks… _or smoking things…”_

The memory rocked his brain and sent his entire blood supply careering south…

The sudden blast of icy air took his breath away as Tommy stumbled back into the room, limbs flailing as he dropped back onto the couch in an uncoordinated heap “whata-theeeee-actual-fuck?” Tommy snatched the joint from Adam’s lips and sucked on it, holding the smoke for several seconds before blowing it up towards the ceiling.

Adam gazed at him, eyes somewhat glazed, but still clear enough to see Tommy looked hot as fuck; pupils dark and dilated, hair dishevelled and hanging in sexy bangs over one eye…and then his mouth…fuck he wanted to taste those lips – pink and glistening as they pulled on the joint, then pursed and pouting as he exhaled…

Imagine those lips around _him…_

_Imagine looking down to see Tommy on his knees as he sucked hard, driving Adam closer to the edge with every flick of his tongue…_

“Hey, fucker, you listening to me?” Tommy’s voice had a definite slur.

Tilting his head, Adam surveyed Tommy thoughtfully. “Nope, not listening _at all…_ ” the pause stretched out for multiple moments before he said it… _he actually fucking voiced the fantasy he’d been nursing since their Glam Nation Tour escapades_ “I want to take you to bed and fuck you till you can’t walk straight”

In his head, it was low and seductive, purred against Tommy’s ear as the object of his desires melted into his arms…

In reality, it came out as a garbled screech that made no sense at all, and Tommy merely stared at him in confusion as he attempted to unravel the words.

_“We’re both fucking stoned, Babyboy. Bed…yeah, time for bed…”_

Wrapping his arm around Tommy’s shoulders, they’d headed for Adam’s bed, flopping onto the duvet in their clothes after kicking their boots off. With Tommy curled up in his arms, the resultant wriggling to get comfortable had only served to increase Adam’s horny level off the fucking chart and he lay still for long tortuous minutes until Tommy’s breathing evened out and tiny snores indicated he was asleep.

Without moving his captive arm for fear of disturbing the sleeping man, Adam rolled onto his back and clumsily opened his pants, plunging his hand in and working it furiously as he grunted Tommy’s name like a mantra until he spilled hot and sticky into his underwear.

With one arm pinned under Tommy’s body, he was effectively tethered to the bed and, quite frankly, too fucking out of it to care about mopping up. Settling for a brief wipe of his hand on the edge of the duvet, Adam shifted back onto his side, draped his arm around Tommy’s waist and cuddled in close.

Moments later, he was asleep.

A piercing whistle amidst the screams from the audience dragged him back to the present and he tugged casually at the crotch of his pants before turning back to face the front “yeah, _the_ Original High…”

Flicking the mic cord out of the way of his feet, Adam glanced across at Peter, his musical director giving him the thumbs up… They were really going for it…

“So, we got a bit of a surprise for you tonight; I have an old song – ‘cause I gotta do some of the ones that are from the other albums, that you guys… _that I_ , love…” He paused to let the applause and cheers die down a little “yeah, am I right? But we turned this one right up on its fucking ear, so…here’s _If I had You…_ ”

The new arrangement drew gasps of surprise from the crowd as it kicked off, and he watched their faces as they looked at each other, the majority nodding in time with the beat. As they hit the chorus, a mass of voices joined with him and the venue became a full-on reggae party.

Letting himself go, Adam worked the stage as it lit up with a mass of rainbow coloured lights, finishing with a dramatic punch to the front _if I had y-ha-ha-ha-o, y-ha-ha-ho…if I had you!_ It was several minutes before the audience noise subsided.

Moving back to his mic stand, Adam looked around at his band and back to the crowd. “Now I just wanna tell you guys a little something; we put that together _today_ and I gotta give full credit to my musical director, a dear friend and this _amazing_ band because they did that to the song in like, twenty minutes! You wanna meet them?”

In previous gigs, introducing each member had always twisted the knife buried to the hilt in his gut, but tonight it felt right… _natural…_ Moving back to his mic stand, Adam nodded “Yeah, so good, they are some professional motherfuckers!”

The audience screams and applause hit the sound barrier.

“So we’re gonna dig into some of your favourites right now…you ready for this?” The cheers rocketed as the opening bars of Shady sounded and the funky dance beat got them dancing. Skipping around the stage, Adam waved excitedly as they hit the bridge “…and Sam Sparro!” Sam’s recorded voice took over the vocals, stripped back to mix with live instruments “yeah, it’s Sam!”

From _Shady_ they went into the ever popular mash-up of _Trespassing_ and _Another One Bites the Dust_ with everyone dancing and singing along loudly.

This was how it should be… _audience and performer as two halves of a whole…_

_He fucking loved his life…_

Punching the air in front of him, Adam killed the end of the mash-up and moved straight into the final song of the main set _Evil in the night_ , the crowd dancing, clapping and singing their hearts out.

Sneaking a glance to the side of the stage, he saw Sutan had joined Tommy and the two were moving to the beat, arms entwined, huge grins on their faces.

Possessive pride sent a thrill down his spine, adding to the fierce love burning in his belly for his family, his band, his fans… “Ladies and gentlemen you’ve been amazing tonight, I love you…” _Danger by day, but you’re evil in the night…_

With a final triumphant burst, the song closed out and the lights went dark.

The audience erupted with cheers, applause, screams and shouts for more, the calls growing louder until they hit a crescendo as they all trooped back on stage.

Grabbing his mic, Adam headed for the very front, looking out over the sea of faces. “Hey, you got me working up a sweat here!” Wiping his face and neck with one of the black towels, he chuckled as his vest shifted and showed a little more flesh than he’d intended. “Wow, I think we had a touch of nipple-gate there!”

The lucky ones close enough to see, in the first few rows, screamed their appreciation. Adam grinned at one female fan right at the front, who was quite obviously stunned “You saw it?” He reached out “high five!” Having made her night, he straightened up, laughter filling the air around them “you guys wanna hear one last song?”

The screams were deafening.

“I think you might know this one” A huge smile on his face, they launched into _Whataya Want From Me_ always a fan favourite and now, with he and Tommy not only reconciled, but officially dating, it was kind of fitting to be closing the show with this song…

Flying high, Adam gave his all…  

“Thank you, goodnight, I love you…”

Pausing to collect his hat and settle it back on his head, Adam gave a final wave, leaving the stage to fall straight into the arms of his waiting boyfriend. “You fucking slayed it” The hat was tossed aside as Tommy tangled his fingers in Adam’s hair and claimed his mouth in a hot, hard kiss.

Adam’s hands slid down Tommy’s sides and lingered on his ass before moving to squeeze lightly on the top of his thighs. Laughing as they came up for air, Tommy took the hint and wrapped his legs around Adam’s hips, linking his hands behind Adam’s neck. As Sutan retrieved the Stetson and dropped it onto Tommy’s head, Adam carried his boyfriend backstage.

“Great performance, guys, fucking awesome…and that reggae beat was dope!” Adam’s praise widened the happy smiles in the green room where the band were gathering their gear, ready to return to the hotel for the after party.

“You and Tommy _coming_ to the party?” Sutan’s eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Fuck, yeah!” Adam tightened his hold on his Tommy’s ass “but maybe not necessarily in _that_ order!” He waggled his eyebrows as Tommy snorted with laughter and hid his face in Adam’s neck. “We’ll see you all later…”

Reaching his dressing room he landed Tommy back on his feet and they staggered through the door, mouths locked together.

Kicking the door shut with his foot, Adam gave himself to the pleasures of his boyfriend’s kisses.

Sure enough, it was turning out to be an epic night…

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been away from writing [and life] for a while whilst battling illness - climbing out the other side now and getting back into my headspace. Lots of stuff in the pipeline, including the concluding chapters of Somebody to Love. It's so darned good to be back! :)


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